My girlfriend of 6 months had irregular bleeding between periods and I told her to go get checked out after doing some research. She had chlamydia before from a previous partner 1 year and 6 months prior to our relationship starting. She claims she has been completely faithful and I really want to believe her. I took a urine and blood test and both came back negative. We have had unprotected sex very frequently, not when she had irregular bleeding, but after it subsided and before the test.
I know chlamydia can lie dormant for quite some time, but after her first initial bout and treatment, she got tested 6 months later and again about 3 months into our relationship and both tests were negative. The reason being is that she gave me herpes and I got it checked and told her to get tested too, but she was asymptomatic and got a general std/sti screening to which she tested negative.
Now I am in serious crossroad because she is the first partner I’ve ever gotten an std/sti from. I loved her enough to get past the fucking herpes but now I just don’t know. Can it be possible she is telling the truth? Any help at all would be greatly appreciated next week is finals week and I can’t focus on anything else.
TLDR:
Girlfriend has chlamydia and I don’t. Urine and blood test confirmed. She’s had chlamydia before but has been treated and had multiple negative test results for it but is now positive. Is there any possible way she is telling the truth?
40 comments
She could have treatment failure, and had a false negative. You could have a false negative. But both are unlikely.
Technically the most logical explanation is she has another sexual partner.
Of course you can’t be sure she is telling you the truth. But, you also can’t be certain she is lying. It is best that you both be treated with a full course of antibiotics for chlamydia and don’t have any sex during treatment. Then, if anything comes up after that, well…then she is lying.
Is it possible you had it at one point but cleared the infection, whereas she never did? Were you tested for chlamydia when you got tested for herpes?
Could call your doctor back,where you got tested and ask them the probability of dormancy. That’s what my girl did when she thought I was cheating and got diagnosed with something. Luckily I actually wasn’t cheating and it actually can/did lay dormant.
>Can it be possible she is telling the truth?
It’s certainly possible.
A lot of people have a mental model like this:
1. If Person A is infected with chlamydia and has sex with Person B, Person B now has chlamydia
2. If Person A is tested for chlamydia, the result of that test are necessarily accurate
3. If Person A is infected with chlamydia and is treated with antibiotics, that person is now cured.
All of those _tend_ to be true, but they go wrong all the time.
You need to evaluate her character and play the odds.
Probably getting cheated on
You want to get HIV and complete the trifecta, then by all means, hang around.
Wait….you say she gave you herpes but your not worried about that?? Chlamydia is curable, herpes is for life. Treatable, but…..FOREVER. You have now gotten 2 sexually transmitted disease/infections from her, move on. It sounds to me like she is very careless with her kitty 😺. It kinda sounds like you know she’s lieing….is it possible she’s being honest, sure, but…..she gave you herpes before this incident. It’s time to move on, I hope you both can be responsible with sex after this. Good luck, but I think you already know the answer.
So she gave you chlamydia AND herpes and you still think she’s faithful? Bruh…
My friends boyfriend gave her chlamydia and there genuinely was no cheating — he just didn’t get tested and had no idea. Technically, it’s possible, but not the first assumption
Let me tell you a story about one of the times my exhusband punched me in the face.
Before we were married (and yes, I know I shouldn’t have married him, but we’ll get to all of this later) he found out he had chlamydia and of course blamed it on me. His reasoning was that he suspected me of cheating with our roommate. He also accused me of cheating with a good friend of mine who was kind of the town ho for a summer. He accused me of cheating with an old high school friend who visited. If he had accused me of cheating with my own family at this point, I wouldn’t be surprised.
When I suggested that maybe he, who was traveling for work constantly and never home for longer than 2 weeks at a time may have stepped out on ME or for all I knew picked it up from a public toilet or on his job site which was full of a bunch of dirty roughnecks and included a dude that would shit in a 5 gallon bucket rather than walk out into the snow to go to the outhouse, he called me a lying slut and punched me in the face.
I also did have chlamydia upon testing. I asked my friend the town ho to test with me, and our roommate just for shits and giggles. Both of them were negative, since you know I didn’t cheat with them.
After we were treated and I finally got over being sick, he asked me to marry him in front of my parents and then staged an intervention for me because he imagined I was an alcoholic and drug addict and lied to a bunch of my friends, basically in an effort to put the blame of chlamydia on me.
3 years later, I’m sitting in a hotel room on a family vacation with my now ex-husband and a friend of mine started texting me screen shots of my ex-husbands giant lie of a dating profile (and I found out there were more) that he had way before we got married. When confronted with this, he lied to me saying our ex roommate must have made it up, but there were new photos on it that were post us getting married.
What I’m saying here is your girlfriend is probably not lying. She probably didn’t know she had it and probably didn’t know whomever she was with before you had it either. If you can still look at her the same, let her get treatment for it and move on.
I’m sorry but why is nobody commenting on the fact that she’s already given you herpes and now it’s likely she’s given you chlamydia too? Bro herpes is for life and although it might not flare up often it can be really uncomfortable. Did she tell you she had herpes before you started sleeping with each other?
At what point would you draw the line at catching shit from this girl?
So under 6 months, 2 sti’s, one incurable and you are so having unprotected sex like mad? You dumb boy. Are you taking any measures to not have kids? Please do not procreate, ever.
I knew someone who was very vocal about being anti-cheater yet they were just saying that _because_ they were a cheater and were trying to hide it. I’m not saying your girlfriend is cheating, I have no idea, just be careful though, you never know.
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Can you both go to a doctor together? What’s going on here Doc and how do we treat this effectively? She may have originally picked up something that is not responding to treatment.
Catching herpes from her would have done it for me. On your way girl !
Something similar happened with my previous partner. She got it and I didn’t, I eventually led it go and choose to believe her. But it kept going and wondering in the back of my head, whatever you decide to do make sure you can be at peace with it. Forget about her and the relationship and make the best choice for you. If you just try to stay in the relationship for the love you have for her now or try just overlook smth that keeps bothering you. You will only grow resentful and remorseful. Take a choice you can live with peacefully in the long run. That would be my advice
Has she displayed a behaviour that would make you suspect her infidelity?
> The reason being is that she gave me herpes and I got it checked and told her to get tested too, but she was asymptomatic and got a general std/sti screening to which she tested negative.
Dude if she tested negative for herpes like you said she did… then she didn’t give you herpes.
That shit can lay dormant inside you for years too. I’d be talking to the ex girlfriend.
Your girlfriend of six months gave or nearly gave you two STIs already.
I think you should do some easy math here bud.
I love the responses on here. Half the people responding have zero real info on STDs, but they are still telling you something’s ng about them lol.
Can I have all my time back from reading and learning? No one told me I can just shout things I heard once upon a time, like they are facts I researched.
Testing and talking with your doctor give you solid answers and advice on what to do about the infection. For whether or not she has cheated on you, your gut is usually your best advice. It’s not 100% (some people just get paranoid or look for excuses to get out of a relationship), but if you feel like she’s cheating on you, she probably…not definitely…but probably is. Your subconscious picks up all sorts of clues your conscious mind wants to ignore. Sit down and think about things. Decide if there was even opportunity before anything else. Go from there.
People are correct in saying tests can be wrong, but they usually aren’t. Treatments sometimes don’t work, but they usually do. If you’re having to string together several possible, but unlikely, circumstances for her to be telling the truth, she’s probably not.
Why do you say she gave you herpes if she was asymptomatic and tested negative? I know it can spread if you’re asymptomatic and test positive, but if it’s negative that seems unlikely. This isn’t a virus that goes away, once you test positive the antibodies that they test for are present for life.
Seems like it might be worth examining if you’re placing the blame on the wrong girlfriend…
I skimmed through responses so I’ll give my somewhat educated view.
GF: treated for 1st incident of clamydia
GF: tests negative twice in follow ups
OP: had 1 round of amox for dental procedure
Time passes
GF: tests positive
OP: tests negative
If the girl had a resistant strain of chlamydia, OP’s amox would not be sufficient to treat or act as prophylactic. Not to mention the point of follow up screenings is to catch resistant strains. They’ve been having unprotected sex for months and OP is still negative. Thus the likelihood of the original infection still lingering is extremely low. This would likely be a new and more recent infection. If I had to place money with the information I was given, the girl being unfaithful is where my bet would be with great confidence.
This sub probably needs a page to a wiki or mayo clinic link to Chlamydia, this gets asked a lot and the #1 answer is to talk with the doctor.
She might have had a super bug version of chlamydia. My mom is a public health nurse and last September there was a version of chlamydia going around that wasn’t completely killed with the traditional antibiotics available. It’s actually a really large concern that medical professionals are finding with over use of antibiotics is that stis are adapting and that last course of antibiotics might have gotten rid of like physical symptoms but not the bug. So one she should have a new panel done if she hasn’t already and two new antibiotics and three she needs to take the whole course of them too. Honestly, I don’t get the feeling she cheated.
Im sorry but 2 negative tests and suddenly shes positive? Something is not adding up. Herpes is a Something most ppl accquire at some point in life, unless it was gential? The herpes simplex virus is a cold sore. However, i found an article for you to read. Hopefully it helps.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/i-tested-positive-for-chlamydia-and-my-partner-didnt
This exact thing happened to me once (but I found out when I finally got it), the first thing the doctor said was it doesn’t mean she’s been with someone else. It can sit dormant, especially in women, for a long period of time so it’s completely possible it was from before hand.
A loooot of women cheat prepare yourself emotionally. Its very common off of reddit.
Did she show you the actual results?
You want to trust her, but do you?
Your girl is shady and loaded with all sorts of sexual stds. I’d say dump her but now you’re infected. Make sure you are completely honest with any potential future partners about the herpes. The fact that she did not tell you upfront about them she’s lucky she’s still breathing.
You can only speculate on this.
Chlamydia can be dorment for a long time and if she has lots of stress or other diseases they can reactivate.
You should take the medication aswell, even if tested negative.
When it come to trust issues think about if you trust her or not.
If you cant trust her now you probably will never be able to. And this sucks.
Did she cheat on other partners?
Did she tell you about the chlamydia and herpes prior having sex with you unprotected?
Is she marry material for you?
I got head from this girl, and never had sex. She had chlamydia in her mouth. She got tested and was negative, which I then said test again as she had symptoms now, and they tested orally and it’s was positive for oral, but not vaginal
She cheated. Obviously. Dump her
Because chlamydia is an infection some people get over it without antibiotics and of course there are flare ups…
This girl needs to be more careful.
Good God man. If someone gives me herpes they’re done. I know reddit likes to pretend it’s not a big deal but that’s a hard pass. It also says alot about how important protection is given how many redditors obviously have herpes and think it’s fine.
Who is this prize? How many STD’s has she had?