When someone I know asks me how I am I tell them. I know the polite response to this from strangers is a positive one, no matter how you are, but with people I work with, friends, and relations I say how I am in as few words as possible, and ask how they are, if I haven’t already, because I want to know. Is this weird? How do you respond to people you know?
3 comments
I think it is all very situation specific. There are many small factors at play. If the nature of the exchange is fleeting and you don’t know the person well then some sort of a general pleasentry makes the most sense. If the setting is more so that you have time to chat and talk and you have a repore with the person then actually answering the question is more appropriate.
Context clues.
Someone asks while I’m in checkout at the market? “Oh you know, doing okay.” Or “I’m doing pretty good, how about you?” Or “ehhhh I’m getting through it.”
A lot of the time the question How Are You in American culture is an ism, just something people do as a part of the social contract.
That’s not to discount those of us who don’t treat that question as an ism, but as a real inquest.
Really the best judge of context is timeframe. Are they asking and you two are parting in the enxt 30 seconds? Then something polite and non committal. A bit longer? Little more.informarion. oversharing can happen, but that’s also tone and context dependent.
My grandmother always used to answer this question with: “Confused, bothered and bewildered!”