So about a year and a half ago, I agreed to let my old roommate use my car to doordash, and I totalled the car by doing something very stupid. She warned me not to do the stupid thing that I did, but I wasn’t paying attention and did it anyway. So after the car was totalled she was unable to doordash and unable to pay her credit card bills, so she was asking me to take out a loan to pay her credit card bills (I didn’t have a lot of money at the time).
I understand that I messed up bad by totalling the car and if I would have listened to what she was saying maybe the car wouldn’t have gotten totalled, but I want to make sure that it was fair or justified for me to have to pay those bills as it was my car that I was allowing her to use.
I can accept the idea that this was fair and justified because I got the bills paid at the end od the day, I just want to be sure that it was fair. Thank you!
6 comments
And btw, I made a post around the time this stuff took place that had a little more detail, but I since deleted it, so this may seem familiar to some of you possibly.
You are not responsible her credit card bills so do not take out a loan. It’s your car, not hers. Sounds like she wants you to pay her bills so she doesn’t have to do so she’s taking advantage of you.
It is your car and you can do whatever you damn please with it, including totaling it. You are not responsible for other people expecting to use your property to make money. It is not their car, you don’t owe them a thing.
Edit. Yes, it was very generous of you, but the car is gone now. Oops. Matter closed.
This is not how favors work. You were doing her a favor by lending her your car. This does not mean you now *owe* her something. So when you could no longer provide that favor, regardless of why, then you are not obligated to somehow compensate her for the favor she lost.
She is responsible for her bills and for providing for herself. If she loses access to a car that wasn’t hers, it’s still her responsibility to figure out how to make ends meet. Or maybe she could get some kind of government assistance.
NTA your roommate needs to find their own means to make money. Would your roommate have given you anything for the loan of your car? I’m expecting not. Car Mileage = Money out of your pocket. You’re in some sort of co-dependent narcissistic relationship and you really should try to find a way out ASAP
That definitely sounds like a tricky situation. From the way you’ve described it, it seems like it was fair to take out a loan to pay those credit card bills. After all, the car was your responsibility and you were allowing your old roommate to use it. You total it and she suffers the consequences. It’s commendable that you wanted to make it right by taking out the loan.
I think the important thing to remember is that sometimes situations like these require compromise. You may not have been able to pay the full amount, but you were able to find a solution that worked for both of you. That’s the main thing.