So- I have a hypothesis and 9/10 people prove that it’s right.
It’s a sad hypothesis really.
And it probably reaches more than 9/10 but there’s 1 or 2 people in my life that have succeeded all expectations.
I’m not a judgemental person. I really am not. I don’t look for faults in people and I’m always looking for the positives.
I really really do try my best. A lot of the time I even try over the hurdles to ensure I can try and salvage relationships but people end up going take take take from me.
So you’re wondering what I’m on about: so I just turned 23 and all my life I was wondering why I constantly felt depressed and disappointed.
Well. That’s because every new friendship / connection, once it’s past it’s honeymoon stage- it then becomes that first disappointment. Someone reveals their true colours. And I’m not on about just minor things, we’re all humans full of many imperfections. BUT it’s more than that, it’s the jealousy or b**ching or nasty talk about other people. Then followed by gossip about mutual friends, manipulative behaviour and then boundary crossing.
And there I am again. Back at square one????? Like why do people always have to reveal a really negative side to them. It’s so hard because I wanna see the good in people. But all I get is anger, jealousy and resentment. Where has the love gone? Why am I feeling so alone. Why can’t people just be true to who they are from the start.
Does anyone know what I mean?
And then you get yourself into this negative void of thinking people are only out to get you and you the retract. Back to your lonely ways
2 comments
Take this with a grain of salt bc I’m not exactly sure how deep the bad parts were from your friends.
I think bc of social media, people have this whole mentality now of cut them off if they bring you negative vibes or whatever, which is fine if you like being alone, but not if you need social connections.
I sort of accepted that people come with good and bad when I was 22. I had moved to a different city/state for a few months and sort of became acquainted with many of my relatives’ friend groups. I hadn’t had a big friend group since my childhood years and 13-16, so I had forgotten all the drama that comes with that, and a few had actually even involved me. It was chaos, and I remembered why I didn’t like big friend groups in the first place.
I also have two best friends and I’m pretty much the glue that sticks us three together.
My point in sharing all this is that you will ultimately have to decide which friends you’re willing to accept the bad from. I chose to keep these two bc I know they are ride or die for me, but that also occasionally comes with the ugly of seeing the jealousy, bitching, and nasty talk about other people sometimes (or each other). I don’t always engage with it, but I’ll listen to it bc that’s ultimately what friends do. They don’t give up on you.
The other acquaintances I had met and hung around briefly when I had moved, I mostly let all of them go. It was too much drama too soon from people that have shown no loyalty or effort towards me.
Basically, you have to pick and choose. Also keep in mind that bigger friend groups often come with bigger drama.
u/jujubean17