Am I too sensitive for being hurt my bf prefers to masturbate in my home than have sex with me?

Im 26F he is 25M we’ve been together three months

I see him around once every two weeks. I started my period n told myself no sex and that was the case last night. Tonight we get home and I can tell most likely we will be fucking. He makes a sex joke or something like that, and tells me to go shower. So I do so,and upon entering my room 25 minutes later I open my door to see him legs spread (and shaking!!) airpods in,jerking off to porn. I was so taken aback my first reaction was to laugh and close the door with me on the other side. So I jokingly said “okayyy finish have fun” with the most disgusted ick face on. He goes ” so you’re really gonna let me finish?” As if I’m a cool mom or something lmao. I enter my bathroom and I immediately start feeling my self esteem plummet. I text him,” i guess lmk when you’re done” as a reply I get “I”. Not even “K” cuz his hands are too busy. I text ” thought you were gonna wait for me but w.e” NO REPLY. Hes busy. I send a sad face still nothing. So 5 minutes later I barge in ask if hes done,he wasn’t but I told him to put himself away because im uncomfortable. I’ve been shut down since. I want to dump him,this isn’t the first time he has disgusted me with his disregard for my feelings when it comes to him being horny. He’s the type who will jerk off whilst im uncomfortable because he wants to cum and im too sore from previous night to fuck. Im very new to relationships but I’m pretty sure this is disrespectful. Or am I overthinking and am I the asshole for being uptight and not letting him finish? Idk why I expected him to call me back into my own bedroom to fuck once I caught him,but I guess the combination of his hand/porn is better.

TLDR: My bf and I planned to fuck,I shower and enter my room to find him shaking jerking off watchin porn. Flustered and grossed out I leave him to finish while I hide in my bathroom. And he lets me until I decide to renter my room and stop it. Is it me?

10 comments

  3. He couldn’t wait 15 minutes for you to get out of the shower? Let him date porn, I’m sure they’ll be very happy together.

  4. You are not overreacting. Dump him.

    If had *any* hope/expectation that you’d respond differently than you did, he had to *communicate that to you*. What he did was, at best, inconsiderate and immature. And he had every reason to know already you wouldn’t appreciate this behavior.

    Get rid of him. He’s a selfish idiot who very likely holds you in contempt.

  5. > we’ve been together three months

    > I see him around once every two weeks.

    So you’ve had about six in-person interactions total, and he’s repeatedly disgusted you during that time?

    Your account here is a little confusing in that you seem upset he prefers to masturbate than have sex with you even at times when you don’t want to have sex anyway (when you’re on your period, when you’re sore), but he definitely seems, at best, inconsiderate and selfish. He can jerk off any time; spending date time on that when you see each other less than once a week is, if nothing else, just bad scheduling.

  8. I work in the porn industry. I’m very open about porn usage and healthy masturbation.

    But please listen when I tell you to RUN. This guy clearly has no respect for you, for your boundaries and absolutely zero care for your pleasure and just happiness in general.

    If this is what he’s like 3 months in, it’s only going to get drastically worse from here. I dated a guy like this and it ended up with me crying myself asleep every night with an eating disorder and severe self hatred for myself and with sex.

    You don’t need this in your life. You need someone who appreciates you, your body, your boundaries and your space!!!

  9. Ewww def leave him. It’s not making you feel good so walk away now. Next thing he will suggest other people in the relationship to get off.

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