When is “settling” for a relationship ok?

26 comments

1. When you have zero better alternatives and can’t be alone.

2. never

3. When Biden and friends finish blowing up civilization.

   Not yet, but soon.

4. Pretty much every time, because human beings are mortal and flawed. Perfection is an ideal to aspire to, but it is not achievable.

   Realistically, you should be encouraging your partner to be the best version of themselves. That can’t happen if they are already perfect… and to be frank, a relationship without any struggle would get too boring.

   You have to have at least *some* stress in order to grow better.

5. Never.

   It ain’t settling if you’re happy in the relationship.

   Some people however just aren’t ever satisfied and are always looking for “better”. When they inevitably give up they tend to see whoever they’re stuck with as “settling”. Doubt those kind of people will ever be all that happy.

6. When it’s the 1800s and the only gal in town lives 3 farms down from you

7. I wanna see an example of “settling” before answering lol

8. When you find an Amish girl

9. Honestly I have no idea wtf people mean by that word. Because, realistically, this is what all people do in some degree. I mean, all which are in relationship.

10. Never

11. Only when you’re prior expectatations aren’t in line with reality and you are hunting for a unicorn. What would not settling look like? What qualities/characteristics does that partner have? Where are you right now in life?

    In general I would recommend not approaching it as settling on a person, but reviewing and internally negotiating the expectations you have for a partner in general.

12. I’m going to go against the tide here and say “It’s always OK”… it’s your choice. It’s not my place to judge. The truth is everyone makes compromises in relationships, and no matter who you end up with, there are 4 billion women in the world, so the idea that you ever found the best one is absurd. Everyone “settles”. If we didn’t, you soulmate would likely be a 90 year old Uzbeki goat herder.

    But that’s OK. You put work in to the relationship and actually become more compatible over time. Someone you “Settle for” now, can still become your perfect match. I’d say that’s the way it works for most people. That may not be the romantic dribble they peddle to readers and moviegoers, but that’s how it is most of the time, and it works out just fine.

13. Define “settling”

    I have a serious issue with this term. Either the relationship works for both or it’s a broken relationship.

    The only people who can say it’s broken are those involved. Those involved need to decide if the relationship is supplying what they require for it to be a happy relationship.

    One of the main issues I hear or see is people expecting to have unrealistic expectations of a relationship. Any relationship requires work and compromise. It’s literally a second job to keep it healthy and stable.

14. When both are aware of the settling and agree to it.

15. All committed relationships are “settling” to some extent, because no relationship is perfect and it’s perfectly possible you could do “better” with someone else, whatever the hell that means.

16. Never.

17. I kind of settled for my girlfriend. Like, she wasn’t my first choice but she seemed like she really liked me. Instead of swimming against tide I went with it and I haven’t been happier and I love her so much.

18. If the person you’re settling for is not as attractive as your dream person, but they treat you with kindness and respect

19. i think it’s never okay. it might be okay for a while, but it’ll start bothering you down the line

20. Something like, I could go out with a 10/10 dream girl who will chronically abuse me, make things chaos but, amazing sex. Could very easily cheat on and/or dump me in a heart beat.

    OR

    A 6.5, very stable and helpful makes my life better, good sex. Very low chance of cheating, very unlikely to break up with me unless I massively fuck up.

    I’m finally old enough to value that 6.5

    Or when both parties are old and don’t want to date around anymore.

21. Never. You have access to basically any woman with an internet connection from your laptop.

    If you have money, you can find love Overseas.

    As an American in a relationship with a foreign woman, I can personally HIGHLY recommend a trip to Eastern Europe. Polish, Czechs, Slovakian, Baltic, and Romanian women are absolutely amazing if you’re looking for a traditional, religious woman. Beware, many are physically strong and quite tall. Death by snu-snu is possible. Also, they either don’t westernize easily or flat out refuse to do so.

22. Never. You have access to basically any woman with an internet connection from your laptop.

    If you have money, you can find love Overseas.

    As an American in a relationship with a foreign woman, I can personally HIGHLY recommend a trip to Eastern Europe. Polish, Czechs, Slovakian, Baltic, and Romanian women are absolutely amazing if you’re looking for a traditional, religious woman. Beware, many are physically strong and quite tall. Death by snu-snu is possible. Also, they either don’t westernize easily or flat out refuse to do so.

23. Never. You have access to basically any woman with an internet connection from your laptop.

    If you have money, you can find love Overseas.

    As an American in a relationship with a foreign woman, I can personally HIGHLY recommend a trip to Eastern Europe. Polish, Czechs, Slovakian, Baltic, and Romanian women are absolutely amazing if you’re looking for a traditional, religious woman. Beware, many are physically strong and quite tall. Death by snu-snu is possible. Also, they either don’t westernize easily or flat out refuse to do so.

24. Truth is, everyone settles. We all have standards that nobody will ever meet. You just gotta have a set of non negotiables and give everyone who meets those non negotiable standards a chance .

    Love is tolerance, so when picking your partner look at their flaws and accept that they might never change, just gotta ask yourself “Can I put up with these for the entire of our relationship/marriage ?” If you can, without resenting them…then is ok to settle

25. Settling…such an overused word.

    Its not a matter of settling. It never has been. Its about finding a fit for you and moving forward with them.

26. When it is your best option.