Anyways so you know “nice guy syndrome?” Well take that and apply it to literally every single person I think is above me or knows more than me regardless of gender and that’s my social anxiety in a nutshell. Even if my brain knows they can have flaws I just go “nope what are you talking about? that’s not a thing” I mean they are nice guys in general.
So I was lurking around Wattpad and I decided to write a story, but I had no clue what to say so instead of being paralyzed forever by my ADHD I just decided to jot down whatever came to my mind. And somehow rambling about Wattpad being a pseudo echo-chamber or something led to rambling about my ADHD (I do that a lot, it gets very cringe so ignore that) which led to a plot where a fictional persona of me named Prince who is 11 years old and has feelings for girl and gets friend-zoned. And then I decided to google “why do people get friend-zoned?” for the book and then I got paralyzed by the fear of being a nice guy.
And then I got paralyzed by the fear of fearing being a nice guy and started to wonder if all of that described me, but the thing is I have no way to tell because I haven’t interacted with a female kid my age every day since Kindergarten and therefore have social anxiety interacting with girls (and I’m pretty sure I have to look away from a female every time I am on the train because I start worrying about sexual attraction and it all goes downhill). I have an easier time dealing with people younger than me, because there’s less of that social anxiety than with other people.
I was planning on talking about my experiences trying to branch out with other girls (service program and soiree) but I’m just gonna ask WHERE DO YOU MEET WOMEN IN A PANDEMIC WHEN YOU’RE FROM AN ALL BOYS SCHOOL BECAUSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I CANNOT FIGURE OUT HOW MY CLASSMATES DO IT LIKE WHERE DO THEY GO TO? I’ve been asking that question for 6 months now and have received no response like I think I just talk to random women on subs until the illusion of their superiority and also sexual attraction with every woman I encounter goes away but I have no clue anyways bye