I push people away

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1. There are lots of ways to get rid of some social anxiety. A good way to be less anxious is to take your thoughts off of yourself. engage completely with the person/people you’re in a conversation with. people **love** answering questions about themselves. if you just focus on learning as much as you can about someone, that can be a really good way to form connections and be less anxious. obviously you can talk about yourself in those situations too, when you have relevant experiences.

   a good trick for situations where you feel lost in a conversation:

   *you ask: what do you study?*

   *they answer: mechanical engineering.*

   (in your head you know absolutely nothing about mechanical engineering. rather than nod your head and say cool, keep the conversation going without pretending to know things you don’t)

   *you: wait that’s so cool! i don’t know anything about mechanical engineering, what does that even mean? what are you working on right now?*

   people often have short hand for what they do or what they study. they assume it’s boring to other people and don’t want to explain it if they’re not asked. but saying “what actually *is* mechanical engineering (or whatever)” can open up a conversation.

   also asking really specific questions like : “what are you working on right now” is a good way to keep a convo going. not just like “how are you”. asking things like what’s the “best/weirdest/coolest/funniest/worst” is always a fun way to engage. someone is an interior designer? ask “what’s the weirdest thing you’ve been asked to add to someones home?”. usually people have really fun answers, and love telling them.

   all of this is to say, just work on genuinely being interested in others and wanting to share things about yourself. this can become second nature after a while.