I (20m) have roommates that are all decently sexually active and talk a lot about sex and their sex life. I too have a sex life but am always really shy to share to much. I’m mostly like a fact machine because I gave myself a proper sex ed xb
Ive admitted and talked about a few things and apparently I’m not very quiet because some of my roommates have heard me😭 but I can’t just like…talk about it!
Like my one roommate started seeing this guy and she described her time with him pretty extensively. Like not every detail but details! You get it!! But I’m always so nervous to talk about my times with my partner even though I want to
I guess it’s mostly because I’m waiting to be asked, almost like asking permission but they initiate it. You know? Idk sex is a weird topic to talk about for me but I love sharing and being sex positive! It’s really fun!
I also feel because of this shyness to share whenever I do it’s awkward af. They know I have toys, that I masturbate, I’ve used a broom to masturbate, and a handful of my kinks because we did a kink share one night lmao. But last night they were going off, talking about fantasies and experiences (they were drunk and high lol) and did a bdsm test together and me and anther roommate joked in the gc how we were left out and we’d just do it ourselves. Everyone starts sending their results sending back “lols” and my one roommate caused a fight because she had age play on hers xb
Mine? Nothing. And idk if it’s because it was basic and I was like “basic kinda xb” but I heard them talking about it in the kitchen for a hot sec but I was in my room so I didn’t hear but idk!!!
I want to be less awkward about this stuff without being to weird? You know? Idk if any of this makes sense but I feel left out and awkward because I am XD but also because I’m stuck in the weird “should I or shouldn’t I” phase of sharing. It’s not even shame at this point because out of all the kinks I told them I have me fucking teddy bears is what stuck xb
Also note I’m autistic so maybe that’s why I struggle sm with this xb
Anyways! Anything helps lmao
6 comments
There is no reason that you need to talk about your sex life with anyone, ever. With the exception of your partner. Just say you don’t want to talk about it.
Doesn’t matter the reason, embarrassed or whatever, you just want to keep it private, if they ask why.
I’m 56 years old, been having sex since I was 18. I’ve never talked about my sex life with anyone, unless you count this anonymous stuff here on Reddit. And I’m perfectly ok with that, and so are my friends and family.
Since you say you want to talk about it then let me ask you this question. Why don’t you? I’ll tell you what I think. To me it’s clear that you don’t trust them enough to be supportive and not embarrass you. I used to be the same way until I realized that it wasn’t me it was them and I got new friends.
Sharing details about your sex with someone else is not okay. They’re sharing not only stuff about themselves but also intimate stuff about the other person, who hasn’t permitted them to reveal their sexual habits. It’s actually very cringe and disrespectful. We get it, they have sex, just like everyone else, no need to violate their partner’s privacy.
If your friend group is okay with that, they are very immature and rude.
The whole pressure to talk more about sex is just you trying to fit in. There is no need to make yourself uncomfortable in any way just to take part in what amounts to sad and cringe ego boosting, and attention seeking.
Decent people would not feel the need to brag about sex or pressure you to talk about it. They’d respect your privacy and they would respect privacy of their roommate’s partner.
This is even worse than close friends talking about each other’s sex life, because they’re revealing this to everyone, not just one trusted person.
If you want to volunteer information, just wait until they talk about a shared sexual interest and chime in with “yeah, I like that too, and ……”
If you don’t want them to know, don’t volunteer information.
There’s definitely different groups of friends I can talk about different sexual experiences with.
You don’t have to talk about it. It’s not being part of the cool people club, and you don’t have to share with anyone, most adults keep their sex lives pretty private. If you do want to share the only thing to do is just blurt it out even if you’re shy until it gets easier and easier. If your friends tease you for the things you’ve shared that’s a good reason for your brain not to want to repeat that situation since it doesn’t want you to feel embarrassed!
I never felt comfortable discussing sex with anyone till my late twenties, I’m now mid 30s and don’t care at all, but also you learn who is worth sharing your sex life talk with and who isn’t. I wouldn’t tell a mum up the school gates but I’d tell a friend over coffee or wine