I’m in my 20’s, I’ve only started using social media this year, and never in high school. Ppl all around me pretty much have an Ig account with hundreds of followers. They all contact each other through it and stay in touch with everyone. I only have a dozen followers, and they’re all from my high school. I just ask myself like what the hell I’m doing wrong. So going to Instagram is my only to have an active social life?
I’ve never posted anything on it. I mostly follow people through my mutual contacts just looking at their pics. Now I’ve realized I’m really wanting to use Insta just to expand my friendship circle with those folks.
My question is what’s the best way to get those people I currently already follow to follow me back? How do I get on their radar?
25 comments
Not trying to sound the person who has thousands of friends or something but In my opinion stay always from Instagram for your mental health sake, let me tell you why.
First, they (Instagram) will polarise your opinion about literally everything through reels and feeds and second the friendship of Instagram is very hollow, we pretend to be in touch but we are actually not.
(It’s all my opinion, I uninstalled Insta few days back because of reasons above)
It’s common courtesy for close people you follow to follow you back. Once they get the notification that you’ve followed them, they’ll follow you or send a follow request. I also have to disagree with the other commentor here because while it may be shallow, Instagram is a useful tool to socialize with other people. Just don’t get too immersed in it.
Uninstall Instagram, it’s evil in a smartphone made by an evil lizard , should I continue ?
Just like the other guy said, I’ve also removed insta for 2 months i think now, i feel like a decent person again.
Don’t.
Meet people in real life.
> They all contact each other through it and stay in touch with everyone.
I promise you, they don’t. They might have a few people they’re close with that they message regularly.
Ultimately, sure, create an account, follow people whose content you enjoy (for me, mostly friends and local music/bands/venues), message people, post when you feel like it. But it’s social media, not a social life.
Also, don’t forget that the algorithm is designed to get you addicted to scrolling the content.
ig just start sending reels to ppl and slowly expand convo like that ig
>I’ve never posted anything on it.
Post stuff. I will rarely follow people (even people I know) if they don’t post anything. Why would I? If you want people to follow you back, or interact with you, you have to give them something to follow/interact with.
Making friends through social media is a double edged sword. It’s possible but it’ll mostly be superficial and if they don’t have your contact information eventually you’ll lose contact and it’ll be like that person ceases to exist. I know this isn’t a popular opinion online but irl friendships are better than online friendships. There’s just an authentic connection that a computer screen will never be able to bring.
Instagram is not really a tool for friendship. The only applicable social use for it is sending people memes. So send your close friends some memes ig.
I wouldn’t look to instagram for friends. Try a club in your area of interest instead
Every time I attend a event I ask for their Instagram and start viewing their stories and commenting to start a conversation and we send memes or stuff we know both of us enjoy and could relate too … just ask people “hey do you have Instagram? I am pretty active on there” I also share personal stuff on stories so I have friends checking up on me
>I just ask myself like what the hell I’m doing wrong.
You’re not doing anything wrong. Social media is a *tool*, not a requirement. They only have hundreds of followers because they got started early. The vast majority of those people are likely people they went to school with too. There’s a period of time when you’re getting to know people in your class when you can add people with relative ease and they’ll follow you back. It gives the illusion that they have tons of friends when in reality it’s just a list of acquaintances they barely interact with.
>Ppl all around me have … hundreds of followers. They all contact each other…I only have a dozen followers…
You’ve made an important discovery: too much focus on social media will give you an inferiority complex. It gives you unrealistic expectations for yourself because hyperactive people on social media are the most visible and you think you’re supposed to be like them. That’s not how regular people behave.
If we aren’t friends, I’m not following you and I’m not replying to DMs. It’s super creepy to have someone try to befriend you on instagram, IMO.
The only exception is other artists or photographers, just asking technical questions or something.
Well, Instagram really isn’t a place to meet people. And social media is very bad for your mental health. I think you should try Bumble BFF or a MeetUp group.
I have just over a hundred followers and don’t really care if I get more.
I post just to show off to my siblings because in my child years I was always looked down at and now that they’re miserable I show how great my days are
From my experience, you should try to make friends in real life and then follow them after. People are more likely to follow back if they know or have a connection with you. You should like, comment, or direct message them if you want to get on your radar. This mostly works with people who know you instead of random users you come across.
My opinion, you’re doing it back wards. Meet people in real life and then get their Instagram.
What concerns me is… why would you even want a friendship on instagram where everyone is lying catfishing left and right 😭 🤔
1. be pretty/attractive/fit – instagram selfies or doing stuff that is slightly revealing i.e. going to beach or playing with your dog in some booty shorts
2. make a meme/humor account
3. have some brand i.e. you make art/bake cookies/photos or whatever
if you wanna make friends on it you have to post content and it has to be somewhat good/interesting otherwise its can feel like a little off like you have nothing to share. instagram is just another tool to connect w/ ppl.
if you’re trying to meet women/men/whatever you make a joke instagram i.e. maybe ur a photographer then you use it to get a partner’s instagram.
having a woman’s instagram is less serious than getting her phone.
note this post is just for realist post from how i’ve seen some people use instagram. mainly just use it as a talking point to connect.
Nobody is going to follow you if you don’t post anything. You have to be venerable and share about you. Share your life, your thoughts, and basically your reality. People, like my service cat, enjoy watching what people do. Someone will like how you think. They’ll just think “Im just gonna stick around and learn more about you because I’m invested.”
Are you trying to make friends through Instagram or just use it to keep in contact with people you know?
If it’s the former then the fact you don’t post just has you dead in the water.
If it’s the latter then people following your account shouldn’t matter. If you chat with them they’ll find you from the messages and again there’s no reason for them to follow you if you don’t post.
Without knowing which I’m going to talk some broad strokes about how some people use it; people tend to use it as creative outlets, or to share interesting images of what’s happening in their life if you just want follow for follow it’s disingenuous that you care about what they post at all and just comes of as a numbers game trying to get a bigger following for nothing (nothing that you post that is).
Related to that some people would simply rather have more followers than followings, or they just like to keep their follow list curated to accounts they actually like (note I said accounts, not people)
Also Instagram is pretty garbo for even seeing the content of people you follow anyway you get a handful of posts from accounts you follow until you just get shown ‘recommended posts’.
As someone with social anxiety in real life, but not really online, I find that I can have better “starts” with people since I talk more confidently online. So when we eventually meet in real life it feels like I’m closer to them, while if I first met them in real life I can’t escape small talk and the relationship goes nowhere lol.
Making you worried about having followers and attention is a thing that Instagram is great at purely because it’s meant to strike anxiety and follow lust into people’s hearts but simply if you’re not good looking or entertaining enough there’s no space for you in such a toxic and narcissistic community like insta.
Instagram is the worst place, try Twitter. I’ve made tons of friends on there.
Delete instagram and thank yourself later