Summer is creeping closer and closer and I’m finally going to be free after this overwhelming year. I wish to enjoy and relax this summer, but I have no friends whatsoever. This is the third summer where I spend it alone and I’m afraid I’ll become depressed again. Reddit, what should I do? How can I pass the time?
40 comments
Volunteer, explore, browse bookstores. Friends aren’t worth it.
Get a job and make friends there
I am in a similar place, I usually go out to the beach or a park and bring snacks and a book with me. I go swimming, cycling, go on hikes or just get ice cream and take a walk through the botanical gardens near me.
It’s all about finding peace within yourself and within that situation, nobody cares if you’re surrounded by a crowd of people or just enjoying something on your own.
Where I live we sometimes have open air events like open air cinema, concerts or free festivals where you only pay for whatever you choose to buy there.
Hope you’ll have a great summer!
Definitely worth volunteering somewhere or joining a hobby based club. Have you brought this up to your parents?
1. read or listen to audiobooks
2. use this time to better yourself
3. watch anime (rent a girlfriend, my dressup darling, spriggan, chainsaw man, your name)
4. know yourself
5. love being alone
Age?
location?
in school?
plans for future?
personality type?
I used to not have many friends until I started using the meetup app several years ago, you should check if there are some groups in your area. I ended up starting my own general social group that grew to over 5000 members (only a few hundred are actually active though. It’s worth giving a try though if you don’t live in a populated enough area it may not work
Hobbies? Go out there. Meetup app. Go to the bar, etc. As someone who 2 months ago would just either go to the movies alone or hang out at home alone. Been doing meetup, hey if you hit it off with someone, dont be afraid give them your number. Or bumble BFF. I’ve had more of a social life in the past 2 months than in the past 4-5 years. Please try either one of those apps.
Look up clubs or volunteer opportunities in your area that seem interesting. Check your local library to see if they have events or weekly groups to go to (my library had something called the “summer reading program” that I volunteered for as a teen. It was great!). No one can guarantee that you’ll make a close friend, but at the very least you can spend some time each week doing something you enjoy with a group of people who share your passion 🙂 It’s a good stepping stone to learning how to initiate friendships without just dumping your efforts into the void of a crowded social place like a park or (as an adult) a bar.
I have a little sister who I like spending a lot of time with in the summer. I still feel lonely not knowing many people my age, but hopefully she doesn’t, even if she has problems making close friends herself.
Try to force yourself to do one thing g outside of your comfort zone that involves interacting with other people at least once a month. Volunteering, looking for Facebook groups in your area for activities, going to a networking group, anything. You may not make a friend but at least you’re gaining social skills, getting experience, and trying. As an introvert that would sometimes welcome death over socializing with others, I still get lonely every great once in a while and every time I force myself to do something like social, I do always end up meeting new acquaintances.
Other than that, I recommend looking at your solitude as a beautiful gift, just a moment in time that is all for you. Spend all your time alone delving into anything that ignites your passions. Paint, learn a new language, study a new subject, travel new places either locally, or, if you can in another country, learn how to walk a tightrope, get way into cooking or building your ideal physique- anything you want to try, try it. You may never get that freedom agin.
Goals not only keep you motivated and disciplined, you become amazed as you watch the slow progress in your life. And, you’ll possibly meet new people interested in your new hobbies or goals too. Remind yourself if you feel lonely that it’s better than being in an abusive relationship or with someone you don’t like, or in poor health, or without ability to have freedom of time for various reasons. Being a little lonely isn’t the worst thing out there, although it can sometimes feel like it.
Just go anywhere with people and start talking . Don’t indulge your fears. Everything is positive as long as you aren’t living in fear. Go try it today.. just go to the store, or wherever, and say hello to someone and talk for a minute. Nothing will happen. When you realize you can do this and it’s all in your head you will feel 1000x better in life .
Since you seem to be very young , the first thing you have to know is that there’s nothing wrong with being alone, it doesn’t make you a worse person or a loser etc , there are people that just have a hard time making connections with people or spending time with someone unless we bond somehow.
Learn how to enjoy your own company , and never change who you are and what you stand for just to fit. Don’t force friendship, there will be a couple people in your lifetime who you will genuinely feel affection for and they will reciprocate (as a friend, couple etc). Cherish this people as long as they show you respect and loyalty .
In the meantime try to discover what you’re passionate about , and become as good as you can , because one day that could become your profession.
Plan to do things you like and enjoy. Then invite people to come join you. If they come, great. If not, you’re still doing something fun.
Volunteering is a good idea and I also think a seasonal summer job or restaurant job is a good way to meet people. After high school I worked at a clothing store and someone who was also working there ended up going to the same college that was a 5 hour drive from where we worked! We weren’t best friends but he was on the track team and would always say hi and let me into their parties. We were both POC in a rural college town so we had mutual friends too! Just know that no matter how lonely you may feel you are not alone.
How old are you? If you are in your late teens or early twenties you should look into being a camp counselor. It’s a super fun job that will give you a giant group of new friends and opportunities to learn fun new things. Especially sleepaway camps.
Volunteer as a Field Trip Foster at your local animal shelter to take one of the pupsters to go hiking or check out a place.
Volunteer work?
Paid/Part time work?
There are some residential jobs on holiday parks/children’s summer camps where people tend to all make friends for the summer. Might not suit you if you’re introverted though.
Join a selection of clubs (running club, rock climbing, board game meetups etc). Even a little social interaction a few times a week can help.
If you can afford it you could look at a group holiday in the middle to break things up.
On days you have nothing planned break make sure you still get out out of the house. Cook yourself a proper meal, keep your living space nice.
Make some goals which you can complete independently (read some books you always meant to read, watch films, get fit, learn to cook) something to make you feel good.
Me who still feels alone when surrounded with people: 🤡
Just find peace and contentment with being alone. But remember to always put yourself out there; not for them but for yourself.
Then “friends” will naturally come to you. However, always remember these “friends” will eventually leave you as you go separate ways.
In the end you will be alone again. But rejoice! You still have yourself.
Join some meet up groups
I went thru a huge life change awhile ago. Got rid of almost all my friends. I’ve got social anxiety like a mf but this has helped me. Just say hi and ask their name. try to continue the conversation but dont press it. REMEMBER THEIR NAME!! That way next time you see them you can address them my name, and in my experience that helps open the door to a friendship. People notice when you know their name. If you’re in school, or have a job, or really any face to face interaction throughout your day normally this can be pretty easy.
Pickup a sport,
Basketball is a huge one
Soccer is also great
Find pickup games near ur area and meet ppl thru that
Get a job. Volunteer. Join a club. Go to the library. Learn something towards your future goals. Pick up a new hobby. Get a therapist. There’s a great deal of things you can do especially since you recognize the tendency.
You could join a youth club where you can chill and make new friends.
I can be your friend 🙂 I’m 18F and I’m a NEET waiting for the next semester of college to start. So right now I’m pretty lonely too since I just stay home all day and all the people I interact with are online
Get a job, some places hire 15+. Since you like sports, try going to recreation center meets. You could also look to see if there are any in person gaming events around you. And lastly, you can make your own group. Invite people that may be in a similar situation to you. If you notice someone eating lunch by themselves, simply ask if you can join them
I would say start playing TTRPGs or Wargames or something, lotta of people there who are also kinda awkward but all bonding over one thing
I’ll b it friend,i might not live beside you but anytime ur looking to chat feel free,have a great summer and also friends come and go,family r the most important thing one love 🙏
If you can, use that summer to travel backpacking.
You’ll get to expose yourself to things that are different, meet people and overall get a great story to tell when you come back
Pick up a sport… start going to a club where you can meet people like golf club, tennis club, etc.
Talk to me! I don’t have friends either.
You are welcome to talk to me as well! I would love to have a new friend 😊
If your old enough, apply for a part time job, you can make some money and possibly get to know your co workers who can be of similar age or older. Although if they don’t have time to hang out with you or are just too old, working will improve your work ethic and if your a cashier your social skills will improve because you learn to be assertive and polite as you have to deal with new people daily rude and nice.
Take some classes! You can take classes in art, music, surfing, tennis, golf, dance, swimming etc. If you can, I’d recommend getting a part time job! The most important thing is getting yourself out of the house. Even if you’re just going to the park and reading on a bench for an hour, or going for a walk. I get so depressed if I don’t leave the house even if I think I’ll be fine – the depression always starts to creep in. So make sure to leave the house at least once a day.
I do not know your location, so may not help. But you need hobbies that are group things. Try disc golf, groups tend to be pretty cool. A hiking or rock climbing group could be cool.
There is also volunteering opportunities almost everywhere.
I most definitely am in the same boat, and have been before. While I’m going to read the thread looking for ideas, I can also add some of my own. There’s a free PDF of an illustrated version of a book called the happiness trap, and I’ve been reading a chapter (takes 5-25 mins) a week, and it’s actually been helping me with anxiety & depression. If you want a copy, I can send one. Otherwise, getting enough sleep, enough to eat, drinking enough water, staying away from alcohol, nicotine, and pot(the majority of the time), having pets to pet, going for a walk around the block, and setting one goal for yourself a day, no matter how small (do the dishes, exercise, draw a picture, research such and such, etc.) helps me feel like I’m being productive, and I tend to feel better which ends up making get more (but not always and that’s ok). It’s important to take care of yourself, and all the above is part of that.
Feel you, but don’t fret
This is a time to concentrate on you.
On things you always wanted to do, experience, understand.
Nobody to tie you down, hold you back, drag their feet.
Realize you will become the best version of yourself. And when you do, you’ll meet peeps who are worth your time.
Depress not over those of inconsequence.
Try a meet app, or bumble app. You mentioned to young to get a job, but also stated you enjoy sports, join a school sports team?
trying to go to a camp could be fun but if that’s not your thing try to find things for yourself where you can be entertained at home and not have to worry about friends
Do you like kids? A lot of summer camps need counselors and such. You could meet people, it will keep you busy, and if you like kids, you’ll have a blast!!