So I’ve been seeing this guy we have done stuff like 3 times but only oral, he loves giving head and fingering me and getting head but he won’t put his dick in me.
We are both clean and it’s not like I’m asking him to do it raw, we would use protection.
How do I go about talking about it? Every time I ask he makes up an excuse.
I don’t want to overstep and make him do what he doesn’t want to so I won’t. And I would never do anything without his consent but I want to fuck him.
What are some reasons why he would avoid having full on sex? He is not a virgin and neither am I.
12 comments
What excuses has he made?
He may be small and nervous (or received some very harsh treatment for it. Horror stories of horrible treatment of guys with small dicks are depressingly common.)
He may be big and nervous about it (horror stories of bad treatment of men with very big dicks are just as common)
He may actually be a virgin and nervous about it. (There is a lot of ‘advice’ to never reveal that you are a virgin)
He may not be comfortable with even the slightest risk of pregnancy.
He may have ED and be embarrassed about it.
He doesn’t want to risk pregnancy because he’s a “sneaky link” and not your partner. Sounds responsible to me. Nothing is going to be 100% effective, so even a .0001% chance of his life being over and being on the hook for child support until he’s over 40 isn’t worth it.
He may have performance anxiety
He may have problems with premature ejaculation during PIV sex. Maybe feeling some anxiety or pressure to perform.
Can he get hard?
He may be religious? And he considers actual PIV he wants to save until marriage?
Try asking him directly. You want to fuck, it sounds like he’s not ready or willing. But if he leaves you in the dark completely then there’s nothing you can do to help, and you at least want to know what’s going on.
Make that sneaky link into a boyfriend
My partner done this, turned out he has erectile dysfunction. Maybe he just doesn’t want to yet. Maybe he has anxiety, ask him. We don’t know him/
Jesus. If this was a guy posting about wanting to “put his dick in” a girl (to use OP’s terminology), everyone one here would be saying this is coercion or rape.
You clearly want to make him do something he doesn’t want to do.
I agree with the other sentiments, that it’s very likely due to performance anxiety.