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As weird as it is, my dad’s death really put my life into perspective and gave me that kick in the ass to finally see a therapist. I saw what death did to my family and the people my father cared about and I didn’t want to be the cause of that for my loved ones.
12 years later and I’m doing so much better.
Woke up one day and realized life sucked, the country I lived in sucked, the people that surrounded me sucked, I was unhappy and annoyed all the time
On a complete whim I dropped everyone and everything and moved to another country, life improved 90000%
The ‘terminal lucidity’ phenomenon.
I was actively dying from anorexia nervosa, my body was totally depleted and rapidly switching off like turning off all the lights in your house on your way to bed, but in a short-lived moment of incredible clarity I chose from the innermost sanctum of my soul that I wanted to live. I cannot explain what occurs in this moment as there is simply no language for such a profound, transcendent, and purely spiritual experience where by our will we make such enormous existential decisions carrying the heaviest of consequences, but I enacted my free and true will in that moment, I chose to live. From that moment forth, I chose recovery. I changed and I did a full 180. Slowly but surely, 5 months on from that moment, I am healing and recovering. I am alive!
Religion. I feel like I am no longer alone. Even when times get tough I know I’ll be able to get through it because I’m being watched over.