Its going wonderful so far, but I am a bit scared.
I though I would see if someone has advice about my situation currently.
I am a woman at my 30s, i got traumas and a bunch of crap, I have been honest about it from the start. About my family and stuff. He has meet my family, most of them, and he isnt much a fan of my family as expected. (I aint myself so thats fine)
He is the sweetest guy, and he is taking care of me so much, I can finally relax a bit. I think its healing for me to be with such a kind and gentle soul like his, and that I can be honest about stuff. He makes food and goes on walks with my dog, and he is so caring. Sometimes I get so happy he does stuff like cleaning dishes and helping to clean and all that.
I am worried I ask to much of him, and that I let him do to much for me at times, I dont wanna be a burden to someone I love. Yet sometimes he does things because he doesnt want me to tire myself. š„ŗ
So, what I am wondering, is how do I ensure the relationship doesnt go bad. I am a bit anxious he would grow tired of me after moving in, but stuffs been going so smoothly. I am worried that my mental health can affect our relationship, and I am scared of losing him. I know I dont have the most energy, and I am tired a lot, I wanna be of more help. Its scary to be open like this with someone and dare to love, so if there is any advice to give, I would really appreciate it.
I struggle a little with listening sometimes as I tend to get fixated, but he seems to be understanding of that, I am trying hard to make sure I listen to stuff. Its a bit scary to not be alone anymore, to have someone I want to be happy. He is the most important thing I have in my life. I want him to be happy. šš
3 comments
So heās doing all these āacts of serviceā for you, hereās some questions to ask him and yourself so you know when, where, and how to step up your own game and show with actions that you want to keep this man.
1. Youāre worried about your mental health. You need to be in therapy. No question here, get healthier and stay healthier. If you canāt do this for yourself, do it for him. If heās picking up the slack because youāre depressed, then show him you are taking concrete actions to work on your depression.
2. What is his love language? Maybe acts of service is how he expresses intimacy, and he just really loves to serve. This is something about him you need to find out because itās important for your entire future together. Next, you need to find out how he prefers to receive love. Maybe he also wants acts of service done for him. Or maybe itās something else thatās even easier for you to provide.
3. Whatās your love language? How do you prefer to give and receive love? Answering these questions for yourself, and then communicating them to him will help you both understand you better. Maybe the way he receives and the way you give love is the same and thereās ways you can fulfill that despite being tired.
4. Expand your knowledge about sex and intimacy. Get some books about topics you arenāt familiar with and explore it. This will help you find more ways to express love to him that can fit into what youāre able to give. Example places to start: Tantra, oral sex, kink, Come As You Are.
Very simple. No matter what.
Don’t cheat.
Don’t Flirt with other men.
If he places a boundry on your interactions with another male, respect it. Additionally try not to put him in a posistion where NEEDS to put a boundry on your interaction with another male.
Don’t withold sexual intimacy outside of VERY legitimate reasons (being on your period and not wanting to get pregant for example).
That is literally it.
The second you do any of those things, its over, and it will destroy him. Additionally your guilt will prevent the relationship from ever being fixed.
Give him a blowjob. Seriously. Build him up. Communicate your concerns and ask what you can do. Men are pretty simple.