Me and my girlfriend (18F) have been dating for a few months and recently we have decided to move forward into sexual territory. We’re both very new to this as neither of us have ever really cared for relationships up until we met eachother and as such have never really gotten here before. We decide to take things slow so as to not go further than we’re ready for, which for us just meant starting with out hands. We get things going, it’s going well and she wants to try to go further. Here’s where things go a bit wonky. I try to pleasure her and it doesn’t really work. She either doesn’t feel it or she does but it’s uncomfortable and borderline painful. The mood comes and goes so we stop for the time being and laugh about it.
The next day we try again. Same story. We try again. There is definitely a spot where it feels good to her but it seems very specific and hard to hit. After like 4 days straight of trying this it stops being as funny and we start to get more into the scientific method of pleasuring a woman. We try this and that, I rub up, down, left, right, here, there, slowly, quickly, I try everything and it either feels like nothing or feels like too much or hurts. I’m 90% sure my technique isn’t working but it’s gotten to the point of her wondering if she has some kind of legitimate medical issue or something.
We both still think it’s kind of funny but I personally can’t help but feel a bit worried about escalating into more intimate situations when I am starting to gain a bit of anxiety about killing the mood because of my lack of finesse.
What I am trying to ask is, is there some kind of technique here that I’m missing that is non-penetrative. There is definitely a spot that feels good, but it seems like I can’t find it. She has taken the step here and learn to fulfill me sexually, I just want to be able to do the same for her.