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Last night after getting off a bus with a few people at the last stop the driver asked…
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Your mom and I didn’t work out.
Because you haven’t ask me on a date yet?
im ugly with bad personality and little dick
Having too much fun playing the field
I get cheated on when I’m not.
“Just lucky.”
I don’t want anything serious right now, just casual and I’m having fun.
because i do not need a partner at this point in my life to do what i want to do
Because I can count more positives than negatives in being single.
“I have high standards and don’t just settle for anybody.”
Wish I knew
Because I’ve dodged many bullets
*”I’m not really a physical entity in this dimension hence I cannot engage in such a ritual without causing a space/time rift.. I’m doing this for you cunts”* – Something like that should do the trick.. Don’t expect follow up questions..
“Because my husband died, thanks for the reminder.”
“Because I haven’t found the right one”
“Why are you still fat?” /S
But seriously, just answer with a mixture of humor and honesty. If you’re truly content with your situation, that’ll come through and hopefully shut them up.
Conversely, you might also ask them
“how’s your marriage/relationship going btw?” I find a lot of people who get really concerned about the relationship status of others usually aren’t happy in their own.
May I introduce you to my wife.
If your older relatives ask that just say “why is your marriage in the romantic equivalent of abysmal lackluster apocalyptic standstill?”
EZ
I always answer truthfully with family, because a girlfriend wouldn’t like the other women I sleep with or the escort I go to operas and plays with.
“Do you want an honest answer?”
“Why are you asking??”
Because I am a conservative Evangelical Christian man who will only marry a conservative Evangelical Christian woman who I’m attracted to who’s also attracted to me. Which restricts me to a very small percentage of women.
Because I’m fine dying a virgin. To me sex is like a Maserati. It’s very fun but it’s a luxury and I’d be happy being a virgin the rest of my life just as I’d be happy driving Toyotas the rest of my life.
Because im not as desperate as you.
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By choice.
“Your mom is afraid of the label”
“I don’t know, ask my grandma. She said all the girls would be fighting over me. Why did you lie to me grandma! Why!?”