I’ve (24m) been sleeping with someone (28m) for a few months now and the sex is really good, I feel like it’s been really helping my kink exploration and getting more confident with things like dirty talk, sexting, trying new things
I am very sexually attracted to him, and I love his size and how dominant and big he is. The BUT is that even though it’s just casual with us (because he wasn’t capable of meeting my needs of dating) I’m still noticing that I get upset if he takes ages to reply, isn’t spontaneous or matching my motivation levels to see each other. I’m pretty anxiously attached so it can trigger some wounds and I feel like I’m subconsciously trying to prove myself to him.
Though I still want to have sex with him, I’m asking myself the question of when is enough enough, and when the shitty feelings that come up aren’t worth the good sex.
I know that I can find someone else to have sex with, but I’m struggling to let go of him because I know that we have good chemistry. If I seek out sex with someone else there’s a risk that won’t be there, there’s of course the risk of STDs, there’s also the risk they don’t match my kink levels
5 comments
Based on what you wrote I think you already know the answer
If he’s not willing/capable of giving you what you need emotionally then the answer seems cut and dry to me.
You want more and he doesn’t, the decision has already been made. Time to move on and it’s easy to avoid STD’s going into other relationships with protection and testing prior to unprotected intimacy, so that concern is easily to solve.
He’s rejection you and somehow this seems to trigger some kind of fear of loss. This seems not healthy for you in my opinion
This doesn’t sound very casual. From what I’m hearing, you want more of a relationship even if that’s one where there isn’t a 100% emotional commitment.
You should be more honest with yourself and figure out what it is you really want or else it won’t matter if you stay or go; you’ll just be making the same mistake if you don’t figure this out.