Why are some people always single?

34 comments

  1. There’s a lot of options although I guess they boil down to two main points:

    No interest in being in a relationship

    No other person interested in a relationship with them

    Edit: In light of the replies to this I think it’s best to rephrase the second point to “No fitting partner”

  2. I’ve been single for a long period of time (7 years) after I escaped an abusive relationship. I struggle building emotional connections with people.

  3. Some people regardless of level of attractiveness are just difficult to be with and unless they get somebody completely submissive, they won’t hold down a relationship.

  4. I flick through some of the comments and I see answers that essentially range between “I’m not good enough” and “they’re not good enough”, neither of which are true

    Both of these answers are there to place a veneer over a deeper truth, and that’s “some people are just very hurt, and they struggle to work through it”.

  5. 1. Too ugly.
    2. Poor communication skills.
    3. High standards.
    4. Doesn’t meet the high standards kept by opposite gender.
    5. Too poor.

    Combination of above reasons.

  6. I just haven’t met the right person yet so I’d rather be single than waste time on relationships with no future or any real connection.

  8. Hi that’s me for reference I am 27 and, from personal experience:

    Lack of confidence, which made me unattractive un general.

    Then, when someone had interest in me I didn’t notice it because lack of previous reference.

    In the cases when I notice and had a chance, I fucked up in different ways, like being clingy to the point or being a nuisance, or didn’t put effort in trying something because I didn’t know how.

    Now, adding to this when I got enough confidence, I didn’t know how to flirt and shit like that, so ended fucking shit up… Again.

    And now, that I know shit… I became too confortable with myself and being single that I don’t have the urge to try.

    Maybe it Will change un the future? Who knows, not me

  9. You have to meet someone who’s worth giving up being single for.

    When you’re single you have freedom. Your time is your own and you dont have anyone else to think about. You can do what you want and your life is yours to live as you wish.

    You can date and sleep with as many people as you like whenever you like. You get to enjoy all that fun of meeting new people, new experiences and seeing what happens.

    It’s hard to give up that freedom and sexual variety.

  12. The list is endless.

    Low self-esteem.
    Not attractive.
    Poor personality.
    Poor personal hygiene.
    Poor communication skills / socially awkward.
    Don’t want to be in a relationship.
    Too focused on work or life goals.
    Poor experience in previous relationships.
    Happy on their own.
    Too high standards.
    Too high opinion of themselves.
    Materialistic / gold digger.
    Not a nice person.
    Haven’t met the right person yet.
    Doesn’t want to just settle.
    Mental health issues or general health issues.
    Lack of trust.
    Scared of being hurt.
    Don’t actually put themselves out there to meet new people or to date.

    I could go on

  13. I could have been in quite a lot of relationships, I just choose not to, because I’m literally exhausted of people and life. I don’t have the energy to attach myself to anyone, so I’m not interested and kept on rejecting people to protect my peace, and to not drain myself out.

  14. Because, if I like them, they don’t like me, if they like me, I don’t like them. Like that. All the time.

  16. * I enjoy being alone
    * I enjoy being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want
    * People are tiring to me, I get all the social interaction I need from one or two nights out a week
    * Been burned in the past and now I have trust issues
    * Past the years where I want to have a kid, so need burning desire to get married and eventually give away half my stuff

  18. Speaking as someone who has been single my 29 years of life, its not a straightforward answer. For me I think its a combination of

    1. Not being conventionally attractive
    2. Being confused about my sexual orientation
    3. Low sex drive
    4. Growing up with my parent’s being in a loveless marriage, with no ability to visualise a healthy relationship
    5. Dealing with chronic depression and being on antidepressants, further impacting said low sex drive

  20. I have adhd and perhaps autism too. I *want* a relationship but I *need* to work on myself more.

    It’s taken me until the age of almost 40 to figure that out

  23. I haven’t met anybody who makes me feel that being with them is better than being single.

  26. I don’t bring much to the table. I’m ugly. All i do is work and sleep. Don’t like or trust the vast majority of people. I hate social activities. Give me a dog a small cabin in the Montana wilderness and I’ll be happy.

  27. I’m jealous of the type of people who can be happy single. These people are the ones truly winning in life.

  28. I’ve been single my entire life and it mostly boils down to

    1. No idea how the hell to flirt + no idea how to gage someone’s interest in me
    2. Not meeting enough people, and not having a friend group that makes it easy to meet more people.

    There’s other reasons of course, but these are the main two personally

  29. Ask yourself not “why are some people always single” but “why are some people desperately trying to get back into relationships and ending up single” and you will probably find a better answer.

  30. Been single my whole life (31M). Just ugly, not attractive, I don’t get looked at twice like how most people would look at someone they like, or if I look at a girl I like, not to be creepy but just enough that she notices.
    I would love a relationship, it would turn my world around. My other problem is I don’t want kids and I’m a Muslim, that is narrowed my potential marriage pool down to probably 2%.

  31. I’ve never tried to express my interest in someone, and even if I do become interested, I feel too scared to take the risk of telling them or even showing it.

    I often make excuses for myself, saying that I’m focused on my goals and not yet ready for a relationship

    In fact deep down i know that i’m just an insecure coward and i don’t think i will break this cycle sooner or later

  32. I seem to know a lot of always-single men. The common denominator I notice is a sweetness-decency to them. They are never bad guys.

  33. My experience being 33 boils down to

    1 not going out in my free time to meet someone

    2 I don’t have any interest in kids so that eliminates like 80% of my age range

    3 I live alone so I couldn’t even afford to go on dates if I wanted to

  34. Woman here. I’m not attracted to very many people. Just not. I’m a hopeless romantic that wants it to be real. A person that cares about me just because. I know I’d care about them just because. For me, it’s either there or it’s not. The sad reality is relationships are built on various mutual needs being met that have nothing to do with loving the actual person.

    I see people jumping into relationships because the other person has a great family, the perfect job, income, education, looks etc. THIS is why people get together and THESE are the same reasons I later see them unhappy or divorced. (I used to work in a family law facilitators office) The checklist ultimately is not fulfilling. Who cares if their mom, aunt or family loves you and is nice. Those people will move away or die and you are left with your partner. It’s like come on now, he/she (the partner you selected) is fugly, annoying, too demanding etc etc …the fact they have the right job or a great family isn’t going to keep “love”alive. Yet I see people get together with people and get married all the time based on these factors. Makes zero sense to me.

    I just couldn’t do it. I can’t do it. I have be attracted to the person AND I need to know that I am their priority because they will be mine.

    Will I compete for someone, no. Why? Because being in a competition makes me feel unloved and sad. It’s soul crushing to me.

    The last man I was interested in had all kinds of triangulations going on and women competing for him, I loved him, but I didn’t say it and I just dropped it and walked away. Hurts, sure, but it would hurt me worse for me to be with someone I “competed” for. I certainly would never feel loved back by someone that placed me in a position of triangulation or competition.

    It’s tough, but when I date someone, I don’t have back up plans ie other guys in the wings. It seems most people date this way and then pick the best one. That just boggles my mind. I cannot understand it. I’d never want to have been the person that outlasted or beat everyone else out.

    …for the people that pick the one that outlasted or beat everyone else out, I have to wonder if they are completely blind to the fact the person knew they were in that marathon and are conniving and low down enough to “win.” 👀 The winner is scary to me. It’s like okay, he or she beat out everyone else by outlasting your worst behavior. The triangulation, you perhaps dating someone else in their face, etc etc. That isn’t a person I’d EVER trust. …but what do I know.🤷🏻‍♀️💩🤣

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like