I’m currently in my first year of uni and I’m having a great time, made a few friends etc. Only problem is because I’ve been busy I’ve lost contact a little with my back home friends as they are all on a gap year together
I’ve been friends with these guys for quite some time now and we were always really close. When I came back for the Easter break I thought we would hang out and stuff. However I’ve noticed they’ve started hanging out as a group and are not really inviting me. I understand this is because I was at uni and wasn’t a part of their lives for a while, but we were all pretty close pre-uni. I don’t wanna keep asking them if I can hang out and annoy them, but I can’t see any other way of getting back into the group
Any advice?
3 comments
I have to say, this tends to happen everytime you move to the next level in your life. Sometimes friendship happens only because we see them on regular basis. Distance helps you to know the real friends you made.
In genuine cases, this maybe because they feel you may have new friends/ are a step ahead of them/ bitterness about you not following the gap year decision etc. If you really want to reconnect with them I would suggest you to try it with them individually first, rather than trying to hangout with the entire gang at once. Also, if you want to keep this up, smaller stuff like wishing on their birthdays, commenting on their posts, calling them up once awhile goes a long way.
Sounds like you were friends with ‘a group’ and not with any single person in that group. So it’s pretty natural for the group to move on when you’re not around. If you still want to hang out with them, reach out to your closest friend in that group and explain you want to keep hanging out with the gang.
People change. Sometimes its nice, and sometimes it sucks.
I remember when my own bestie went to uni in another town. We still talked, but they simply weren’t around to hang out. I’m not going to pause my own life and needs for one person, so I started hanging out with my other friends.
We never iced the other person out, but as time passed they changed more and more and we just… stopped hanging out.
Then I went to uni and the same thing happened.
It’s not about ousting you. It’s not about being cruel.
It’s just people being people. Growing and changing.