I [27f] went on a first date with a guy [29m] and he was honestly so sweet. I like him a lot. We met at 8pm and ended up going to 2 bars and staying out and chatting till 3am. He was respectful, wasn’t drunk and we had a really in-depth conversation. At end before the bar closed he asked if he could kiss me and I said yes. At the end he asked for a second date and we went our separate ways. He told me he only drinks 1-2 times per week since he likes going to the gym. However during the time we’re there he had about 9 Martinis. I was so shocked and honestly do not understand how he was still coherent but he seemed absolutely fine. I know we were together a while. Over 7 hours, but I’m not not sure if the fact he had 9 drinks is a red flag?
39 comments
It’s literally 7 hours, a red flag is 9 drinks in an hour. Not essentially one drink an hour.
….. the date, was going, to bars.
How much did you drink? How much do you normally drink? The only possible red flag for 9 drinks in 7 hours is the cost, can he afford it?
9 drinks over SEVEN HOURS. Your body can metabolize one an hour(more for bigger and hypermetabolic folks).
Why would that be a red flag? At the rate he was drinking, he was probably still under the legal BAC limit to drive himself home.
>He told me he only drinks 1-2 times per week
…but each drinking session lasts 48 hours.
9 drinks over 7 hours isn’t bad. If it were 9 drinks over 3 hours that would be different
I can drink 9 drinks in 7 hours easyyyyy and I’m a woman. I wouldn’t be drunk either.
You guys literally went bar hopping… like what did you expect? He drank a very reasonable amount for that course of time.
He wasn’t drunk. IMO, this would be a non-issue.
As a former alcoholic, I don’t buy the one drink an hour thing. You don’t get stone drunk at that rate but if he was totally unaffected, it’s probably because he already has a high tolerance. On top of that the desire to drink nine drinks sort of says he doesn’t like to be completely sober.
I meaaaannnnn … you saying he wasn’t drunk, could hold his alcohol, was respectful
What’s the question here ?
Laughs in Irish
And what normally you do in bars? I love going to nice place for cocktails, I don’t go out for 7 hours but I drink 4 in 3 hours. Don’t really think that I’m an alcoholic.
Over the course of 7 hours that isn’t a big deal. Pretty steady pace.
Well I mean y’all spent 7 hours at 2 bars. I wouldn’t see that as a red flag. After the third drink, they go down like water lol
It could be he was nervous and just gulping drinks without thinking or for Dutch courage.
I wouldn’t write him off but would keep an eye on it.
Maybe go bowling or something next time and see if he’s still necking them down even with an activity involved.
I don’t think so? I could easily drink that much as a woman if I was having a great date and felt comfortable.
Assuming OP is definitely not from the UK….
People assume he’s an alcoholic because OP told them he had 9 drinks. At the very least, he is a binge drinker. People are judging someone based on 1 interaction. Binge drinking is anything over 4 or 5 units on an occasion.
OP, if you weren’t comfortable, then why did you stay so long? You even went to another bar. You could have either cut the date short or suggested going for food instead.
Why are you counting his drinks? How many did you have? If it was in the space of an hour or two, then possibly a problem. But over 7 hours that’s fine. You said he wasn’t drunk, was nice so why are you looking for a problem when there isn’t one?
If you’re having a good time chatting and whatnot over and you don’t even notice how much you’ve drunk. If he had 9 drinks in an hour it’d be a different story.
Alcohol tolerance is somewhat genetic as well, in my understanding. I’m a finnish person, and 9 drinks in 7 hours would be just fine for me. (For the record, I don’t drink often/habitually) Maybe a bit tipsy around the first and second hour, but totally okay at the end of the day.
7 hours is such a long time.
Not at all. That mothafucka knows how to have a good time.
Im here wondering why u counted?
I swear the word “red flag” nowadays is used like sipping water. My brother was nervous and that’s probably why he was drinking
Nine drinks over seven hours might be significant, sometimes people water down martinis, sometimes the glasses are different sizes or the pour isn’t standard, sometimes the fluid doesn’t go more than halfway in the glass. All these things matter. If he was coherent and pleasant to be around the whole time, then I’d go on a few more dates to see.😁
I personally think its okay if that’s the truth.
9 drinks over 7 hours is aite imo (I usually do 4-5 and once a week though, but if i meet a nice girl that likes to drink i might do more haha)
I think it depends why you’re asking the question, is it health related or is it if he’s dependent on alcohol in some way?
Personally I would prefer to be with someone who enjoys drinking, if that’s not your thing, it’s a problem, be honest and admit that you are worried about it. For me the flags would be up about being judged on wanting to drink on a date. It’s exactly when I would want to drink. It sounds as though you want a different sort of person.
That’s fine, there are enough to go around.
wOww that’s like 1.2 drinks per hour duuude that’s cRaZy you should definitely never see him again. Did you grow up in a church or something dude?
since he needed more than one drink per hour to be abble to stand a girl than come to reddit for nothing i would say yeah, totally a red flag in you
Drinking « only » two times a week ? That’s full blown alcoholism in my book lol.
It means he likes having a good time
The main red flag is that he drinks martini.
Wait… Wat?! 7 hours! What’s wrong with you. It’s like you want there to be an issue. Jeeeesus… You, you’re the red flag. Less than one standard drink an hour, you guys would have eaten you (not that it matters).
9 drinks isn’t a lot in that span of time. It’s barely more tha 1 drink per hour. Especially with food and stuff. I think you need to chill.
ETA you went to multiple bars, wtf did you think he was gonna drink, apple juice? This sounds like a teenager wrote it tbh
9 drinks over over 7 hours? Buddy that’s two hours worth of drinks, stop freaking out
Thats 1.2 drinks every hour. Thats nothing.
So we’re making up red flags now? Looking for reason to disqualify people?
Literally every post like this about red flags on Reddit is situations like this where most of the time it’s a non issue but yanno people like to look for a demon around every corner
7 hours is a long time- that seems reasonable to me
I don’t see the problem. Y’all went to 2 bars and stayed out til 3am. Did you expect him to act like a monk in that context? It sounds like he was on his best behavior. Why try and find problems where there are none?
Over 7 hours I wouldn’t be worried