Lost. Marriage

If you have a look at my previous posts my marriage is struggling. We recently spoke about divorce but we talked it all out and we want this to work, we don’t want our kids growing up in seperate households and everything else that comes with divorce. Had a

But I am unhappy. I know he’s struggling with a panic attack disorder but we have had issues before they started happening. He never tries to be intimate. His way to be intimate is laying his head on me and falling asleep… I’m so bored. I’m not talking about sex I’m taking about any kind of intimacy. He doesn’t brush his teeth often and I’ve told him it turns me off and it would be nice if he can brush his teeth and we can give each other a goodnight kiss at least. But nah that doesn’t happen still. I don’t want to be stuck in a marriage for the rest of my life that has no intimacy. He would be happy if we can just coexist and do our own thing but still be married and intimate on and off every now and then. I’m going away for 3 nights tomorrow night and he just laid his head on me and asked him to push on his leg because it was sore then fell asleep. Don’t even know if I’ll see him tomorrow before I leave.

When I speak to him about it he turns it around and calls me a sex demon and that I just want to sleep with him and that, that’s what it’s about. Before anyone mentions that have I tried to with him. Yes, I cuddle up to him and rub his arm ect but if anything is to go behind that I have to be the one to initiate it. When I talk to him about this issue he turns it around and says he’s tried he’s been at work. I’m exhausted from out 2 toddlers but it’s important to be to make time for my marriage and he doesn’t get that. We are only 28 and 30 and thinking of it he’s always been this way. We have been married for 4 years now.