I feel a little uncomfortable and disgusted that my best friend and her boyfriend got engaged today. I think it might be because I know a little too much about their relationship that turns me off.
My friend complains to me about wanting to open up her relationship because it’s not fulfilling. Says her boyfriend is too young and fresh out of med school and is still finding himself and wanting to party and live a life that is different than hers. They are 9 years apart (mid 30’s late 20’s) and my friend is already well established and just ready to live a calm life and start a family.
She also stepped outside of her relationship recently and kissed her ex after dinner together. And told me how refreshing it was because she enjoys the chase and flirtation that comes along with it. She likes being desired yet doesn’t receive it from her boyfriend and mentioned that their sex life has gone downhill.
They bought a house together a while ago and renovated the place and it seems like that’s what is tying them together even more.
I just don’t understand why she would accept a ring and be so emotional about receiving it knowing this isn’t what she wants and how unhappy she currently is.
I’m just confused by the whole thing. It’s just like marriage is a game nowadays.
I just don’t understand why I’m so bothered by it and it’s making me pretty distant with her.
TL;DR:
My best friend and her boyfriend are in two completely different places in their life and want separate things but yet the boyfriend proposed today. My friend tells me a lot of issues that go on in the relationship from lack of sex, cheating, wanting an open relationship, immature and more. I don’t know why but I’m completely disgusted by the whole thing and it’s causing me to want to distance myself from her.
10 comments
Why are you friends with an awful person? Genuine question. It’s not as complicated as you make it sound. You’re an accomplice to the betrayal by standing by her and being quiet.
I think you’re bothered by her overall, and this is just highlighting it. You see a huge gulf in values between you and her, but you have the inertia of having been friends for so long. It can be hard to admit someone has turned into someone you don’t really respect anymore.
You aren’t morally obligated to. But you could do a very good thing by telling him (but only if you have evidence you can show him)
It would destroy your friendship with her. But frankly I don’t think you should be friends with such a person.
She wants the lifestyle. The wedding. The kids.
Not the relationship or marriage.
Just the image and status that comes along with it.
Meaning she’s a raging narc and you should tell her fiance. And get the fuck away from her.
It’s weird how people stay friends with people who are extremely disloyal to others.
Like they’re not going to stab you in the back one day.
Does he want an open relationship as well? If not, I’d be telling him everything. Get proof, recordings of conversations of her bragging about it, photos, texts, whatever you can get your hands on. Most everyone would want someone to tell them if their SO was cheating on them. By keeping her secrets, you’re just as bad as she is. It makes you an accomplice. Just like hiding a criminal.
Cheaters think they can have the best of both worlds. Have their cake and eat it too, then switch to pie and cookies. Screw that.
If he wants an open relationship as well, then sorry, drop them both as friends if it makes you uncomfortable.
Yeah um why are you still friends with this person? See, when you dont keep friendships with people like this, you’ll never have to sit in God’s chair wondering what you should do with their secrets. I bet you’re considering telling her fiance, right? No good friend would do crap like this and put you in that position and no decent person would get engaged after cheating.
The whole thing is a big ick. Why is she your friend, and please save the guy from ruining his life.
Why are u friends with a cheater?
Ima be real. Speaks volumes about you as a person just as much as it does her if you stay friends.
I have a very hard stance on cheating. I’d blow it all to shit and make sure her guy knows. She is gonna cheat again. Her guy is nothing more than a future paycheck and some guys who she “settled” with to get married. But she will still fk around on him the whole marriage.
Tell the husband to be and block the friend
Honestly, I think it bothers you because you’re starting to figure out that what she had been telling you she wants, and what she actually wants aren’t the same. I suspect her bf is in that same boat where she’s attempting to give him a false impression of who she really is. She wants the open relationship, but her plan is to pull the bait and switch with him after they’re married, if she even tells him at all.
He should be made aware of what’s going on as soon as possible.