personally I think it’s being funny.

39 comments

  4. Understanding, the key to a true connection with someone or a group of people – Once you understand em you can implement your own personality/character/style seemlessly for better experiences socially

  5. Empathy. Empathy allows you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, which is key for accurately reading a social situation.

  6. There’s no easy answer to this question. I see someone said empathy, which i absolutely agree with; it’s important to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, which in fact is a skill many people in society lack.

    Kindness is also a common answer, and one that’s probably often overlooked. Too many people in society that tend to put themselves first and steamroll over others, not giving af about their wellbeing or emotions. It’s difficult to be a consistently kind person these days.

    Another overlooked trait in the modern age is humility. Too many people that like to hear themselves speak, yet don’t actually, genuinely, listen to the person they’re speaking to. Knowing when to speak, and when to listen, are important traits.

    Finally, I’d add in knowing when to ask questions, and knowing what questions to ask. This is somewhat tied to all the previous points, but it can add great depth and empathy to conversations if you master this skill.

  7. I think being able to read a situation, and or putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand how they feel is important. I think this is a prerequisite to other skills that come after this.

  9. Since most people like to talk about themselves, being able to listen and ask follow up questions is my vote.

  10. Validation and how to validate someone’s opinion, belief or experience even if you disagree without appearing patronising, disrespectful or uninterested.

  13. The ability to juggle having boundaries + giving others permission to let go of expected social obligations that make certain circumstances tense. The easiest example is when you do something embarrassing and choose to laugh at yourself about it. By doing so you give others permission to laugh disrupting the tension of a situation where most would choose to be polite and not acknowledge it. However, you should bear in mind that you should have boundaries to how people treat you, and when someone crosses the line, even in situations like the one I just laid out, you should communicate that.

  17. Listening. Actually listening. Being able to listen to others speak to simply learn about them, instead of listening just to wait for your turn to speak.

  21. Imo to have an eye contact which is confident and welcoming to others for a conversation.

  22. Active listening.

    You can’t be funny if you are not paying attention to the context of the conversation.

  23. Awareness and Adaptability. Every person and social situation is different, humor is important but it’s something that varies from person to person. Having awareness (both of yourself and the situation) and the ability to adapt accordingly while still being yourself is most important to me. It combines skills like understanding and active listening — but you’re also able to interject when appropriate with your own personality.

  26. Being curious about another person’s life. Asking questions to get to know them. And listen to what they have to say. These three things are moreso an attitude than a skill and they will bring you far in the department of social skills. I think this is most important to me personally.

    I was super shy in school and was known as the guy who was extremely quiet (especially towards girls). My social skills journey started, when I did a voluntary year at a hospital. I automatically had to socialise with patients and coworkers. My job was simply rolling around people through the hospital in their wheelchair or their bed. While rolling them around I also wanted to get to know them. I especially enjoyed talking to older people and what they did before in their life. Where are they coming from? Where did they grow up? What was their job? Where have they been before? Old people have so much to tell, they are walking documentaries. I was not perfect at socialising after that one year, but I learned so incredibly much.

    So this is my call to anyone who is clueless about how to go about having conversation. Be genuinely curious. Try to get to know the person. Ask them what they did throughout their day or what they did last weekend. Ask them what they do for a living or what their favourite past time activity is. If the other person wants to engage in conversation, they will ask you back and this will lead to a nice talk.

  27. A lot of people in here say empathy, and as someone who is extremely empathetic I have to disagree. To me the most important skill, first and foremost, is knowing how to set and reinforce boundaries. You have to teach people what you will and will not accept and set a standard for how you will and won’t be treated. Empathy is an incredible skill and one the world needs more of, but without the ability to set boundaries people will see your empathy and be quick to take advantage of you, especially narcissists.

  28. Learning to love people again, even when you’ve experienced the bowels of society and can’t be bothered to make a genuine effort to interact with people. For too long we paint everyone as mundane, boring, or uninspiring. But it’s more than that, there’s a deep visceral hatred or loathing. But the worst part is we see it in ourself, that’s where it comes from. Yeah that part, to learn to love yourself again and no longer suffer from misanthropy or nihilism. Thats the real kicker.

  29. Engagement. There’s this weird trend with introverts praising themselves for not being social, never reaching out or taking ages to reply then complaining that they have no close friends. I’m an introvert too so I understand the energy struggles but nothing happens if nothing happens. If you keep communicating that you want to be left alone then people will leave you alone it’s really that simple.

  30. There are already lots of good answers.

    To me the most important social skill is storytelling.

    Even if you have empathy, the ability to read the room, ask questions, and are able to be engaged and interested. You will eventually have to tell a story about yourself relevant to the topic at hand.

    That can be a big struggle for me.

  31. I think the most important social skill is one that allows you to be social. I am naturally funny. Most people don’t know that about me though. I think it would have to be something in the realm of being a “people person”. They seem to be able to take punches and develop resilience. Somehow those people who continue to be there for people despite being disrespected or left out are those who can get ahead.

  32. Ability to break the ice with people. Its not always easy. But without that 1st step conversation doesn’t happen

  33. Being completely authentic, honest and true to yourself. I feel that attracts most people and there is no greater feeling than being able to be yourself in my opinion, besides maybe being loved.

    Conversations will flow easily.

    I feel like this because it was always hard for me to be myself scared to be rejected and now that I’m my authentic self I see how I attract people. Of course these has ups and downs, sometimes still feeling anxiety.

  35. Being able to ADAPT to various different environments, people, cultures etc.
    Many people can only “vibe” only with a specific type of people, usually quite close in age too.

    I am not saying you should be able to become best friend with everyone but you should be able to have conversations with pretty much everyone, from the homeless to a CEO to villagers in a small town to teens …

  36. you’re so wrong, being funny only classifies you as the clown of the group, i can see that you got a lot of answers here but the most important skill is to be understanding and know when to speak/read the room. these will get you places and get people to really like you. being funny all the time makes you look like kind of a loser, and it also sends out the message that you cannot take anything seriously, because life is not all laughs, peaches and cream, it also limits you from creating deep and meaningful connections with other people. so no, you do not want to be known for being simply funny, or maybe you do i am not your mom.

  38. For me is remembering their name. If I can remember their name, I can remember other things about them. So when I meet someone I need to know to not just focus on making a great impression (aka everything about me) and actually focus on them.

  39. It is empathy. More that any other quality, it is empathy that matters.

    Empathy is social intelligence. It is the opposite of self-absorption. It is the ability to full encompass what a person is feeling, and choosing to respond in a way appropriate to that feeling. Empathy is what good relationships are built on. Empathy creates trust, and is the antidote to feeling alone in the world.

    All other qualities – sense of humor, dependability, wit, intelligence, and so on are useless in the hands of the self-absorbed; they will never help a person become happy. In the hands of the empathetic however, they create happiness for oneself and others.

    For some, empathy is hard to relate to, and is often rejected by those very people who do not possess it.

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