Hi when I was younger I used to have a strong personality. I was loud, brash, outspoken and was a leader in my friend group. At some point in my childhood I became introverted due to circumstances of my ubringing including moving and verbal abuse from my mom who would attack my self-esteem. I would describe this period as stunted growth. **I think my social problems come from the fact that I have not had ample time to workshop my personality and figure out what works and what doesn’t.** At my core I am a louder person who likes to speak their mind.
I’m looking for tips for how to be myself while still in considering others and not being considered a bitch. Due to the circumstances I’ve developed a deep self consciousness that will not allow me to say and do what I actually think due to fear of judgment from others or hurting their feelings. I know that not wanting to hurt feelings is good but the extent to which I take it is extreme, to the point where I end up saying nothing at all. I know if my type of personality that not everybody will love me. My true personality is not someone who is diplomatic and soft-spoken. I think that due to the fact that I am extremely conscious of myself I don’t think that I would become at 100% obnoxious person. However I’m looking for tips on how to strike the balance between saying what I feel and being strong and not putting people off.
2 comments
I also have a strong personality and I’m fortunate to have a solid network of friends and relatives ([incl.](https://incl.my) my wife) with whom I can freely express my strong side. By that I mean crack off-color jokes, go deep on politics, vent, complain, etc.
Outside of that, I have a “treat the janitor as well as the CEO” mentality and treat everyone I meet with respect and genuine interest.
I realize this isn’t direct advice, it’s more of a suggestion that you organize your personality by the person rather than trying to be perfect in each exchange you have.
Because when I have the opportunity to express my demons so to speak, it gives me better awareness and control over them.
Don’t confuse strong personality with lack of respect for other people.