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When you are relaxed, it will expand. Just don’t think it and be scared or tense.
I think it’s really beneficial to have a conversation beforehand saying i’m nervous is going to hurt, please go slow. Even though this should be assumed, it also made me feel better to say straight up beforehand, if it hurts too much we’re going to stop. Laying out what you’re comfortable with before hand and “rules” helps you to feel more in control of the situation and takes away some nerves