Hi! My girlfriend and I are both lesbian and have a great sex life. I am very awkward, however which gets in the way of a lot of the things I wish i could do. I would say i’m pretty submissive but only because i’m awkward and have a fear of like embarrassment/rejection. I like to top, i’d consider myself the “top” in our relationship. she likes being dominated. spanked to be exact, she likes being controlled. I have spanked her a few times but I always feel awkward doing it, like she’s judging me or i’m scared i’ll do it wrong. I feel weird being sexy and dominant even though I want her to feel good. She’s also very good at like being seductive which I am not. When she’s licking my nipples or even going down on me she’ll often look up, which I have trouble doing because i’m awkward. She’s also very good at dirty talking which i wish i could be better at. So far all i’ve worked up the courage to say is “you like that?” Yikes. Our sex is not awkward AT ALL. it’s very good, very communicative. it’s a personal feeling (a deeper rooted issue… I am diagnosed with AvPD). I just want to be less awkward and more dominant. any tips?
2 comments
If talking feels awkward, maybe you could try sensory play. Give her a blindfold and a pair of earphones, and go to town, it’s really fun. You can incorporate kissing different parts of the body, spanking, soft touches, ice and wax if she likes it
You can try to go through some scenarios in your fantasies and start getting comfortable with dominating her in that way.
Or while you’re watching a movie, caress her neck and do other non-sexual dominant things with her to get used to it and comfort yourself with the thought of dominating her.
It’s okay when some things take more time, what’s important is that you both are enjoying the process 😀