Back in elementary i was depressed Cause i felt like an extrovert who doesn’t have any friends. I was always that weird quiet kid that was bullied or ignored
Now i’m near the end of high school, overall bullying stopped mostly Cause i was invisible and i had allot more oppurtunity for friendship
But everyone was either awfull and mean of would turn out to be after pretending to be nice
There was allot of drama in my class and nearly everyone turned out to be an awfull person and while i feel like i dodged a bullet by never befriending them too much, one person i am close too was target of allot of this drama and i’m just angry at this point
My family is strange too my dad’s side are really awfull and basically hate me But mom’s side is Okay, my brother and cousins are preatty cool actually so at least something
But when it comes to new people i think I’m done
47 comments
You are indeed a beyblade
Hello my friend!
What plans do you have for the future? Are you headed into the work force or are you off to college?
I’d like to give advice if you are wanting some but I won’t know which to give without a little clarity.
If you are just looking to vent though then please continue and be unobstructed.
Same thing happened to me a few years shifted ahead. In high school was a super crazy silly extrovert that would talk to everyone but couldn’t make friends and now I just dont have any desire to try anymore and I’m no longer fun or weird lol
That’s just the little dose. When you will be joining college, you will see the another dimension of awe fullness. Good luck.
I’d say it’s fine to feel that way but you should know that you’ll probably regret refusing to make any new connections. I was in a similar situation. Peak puberty and moving schools gave me a means to decide “friendships are for chumps” and deny everyone I meet.
I was praised for being more focused and mature than all the other kids while I was getting zero social and emotional development. After getting to uni, I discovered that you will no longer be forced to interact with your peers. In order to get the “university experience” I needed to actively keep up with social circles despite having the maturity of a 15 year old.
You won’t feel like this forever, I promise. Opinions change and you’ll eventually want someone to talk to when you leave home and don’t see family and existing acquaintances every day. It doesn’t need to be deep lifelong relationships. Just another person where you don’t find each other insufferable.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it. If this is what you want, as an adult you *will* succeed and you will be miserable.
The thing kids and teens don’t learn until later is that you’re in a stage of your life where people try to save you. They try to save you from yourself and your habits. They step in for you. Even when you think they don’t, they do. It’s not until folks get to be in their late 20s that they really see the truth of it, and by the time they’re in their 30s, they’re cemented in it.
For the most part, adults don’t take care of one another the way folks in a kid’s life do. They don’t seek each other out the way people do for kids, because, well. We’re adults. And you’re an adult. We’re all collectively under a lot of day-to-day stress, and it takes energy lots of us don’t have to also worry about another grown adult. Many adults assume everyone has their feet under them to one extent or another (regardless of whether or not that’s actually true.)
As an adult, people won’t stroll in to save you from yourself. They aren’t monitoring you or making sure you’re happy or growing. There are few special services, and generally coworkers and bosses don’t care the way teachers might… every decision is your own. The people who *would* step in for you are, well, friends. But if you’ve decided you don’t want those, you’re absolutely on your own.
So if you want to isolate, you can. And you’ll succeed. And, I can say this with almost no doubt, you’ll be miserable. And it’s important to know that the older you get, the harder it is to change bad habits. The more your brain *really* wants to stay doing what it’s been doing, even if it hates it and you’re suffering. So decide carefully before you decide this is what you really want.
(Also, remember that friendship is about caring about other people, and wanting the best for them. Stepping up and stepping in for them, and having the same done for you. With that comes “drama.” That’s part of the human condition. Shit happens, people fight, they argue, they group up; this is how humans and relationships work. You might think it’s not worth it, but it is.)
I think almost everyone (except for a rare few) need at least one close friend they can be honest and supportive with (this could be a family member). Life is just too hard without that support.
I believe that you will eventually become so confident that you will stop caring about what others think and be better for it. 🙂 I know I have but, it took me decades to get to that point, well you will probably do so in just a few years. The key, at least to some extent, is to simply allow others to be whatever they are and not take things personally and no, it is not easy but it is worth the effort.
I can relate. When I was a kid I’d hang out and socialize with adults.
“Like minds attract” is a useful phrase for understanding social connections. Over the years you’ll remove yourself from people who you don’t relate to and are too awful and immature to be around but you’ll not remove yourself around the people who match your level of maturity and kindness. You’ll find people like yourself.
If you over generalize and stereotype all people as horrible and worth hating, then you close off doors for the people who are not that. One day you might find them, and when you do being virtuous is important. If you find someone who is a really awesome and good person and you’re not at that level, they’ll remove themselves from you, just as you have been removing others. Over generalizing and stereotyping is not a healthy habit, so that is a good place to start growing and improving.
If you need to take a break from people, do so, but look into self-improvement books, finances, etc, so that you can have a better mindset. But don’t try to stop having connections. You’ll find them in the least likely of places.
Try meetup if you’re of age, and go mingle with others, or start going out in nature. Find what you’re passionate about, and find out a way to be a better YOU. Self-reflection is the best way to find ways to be happy. Don’t lean on anyone else and expect them to give 100% of what you’re wanting, because everyone/people are flawed. You still have a long way to go and if you need therapy, I would suggest finding one, even to vent.
I relate so much. I haven’t had friends since I was 14 years old and I honestly gave up trying to make friendships. People always leave me, so what’s even the point??
People are gonna say it’s a miserable way to live, but as long as you’re happy, safe, and it doesn’t impede you from daily life functioning, then you can do whatever you want.
Stop Expecting Start Accepting!
Learn to be happy on your Own
Don’t give up on people yet, it really is uphill after HS, you are no longer forced to deal with teenage drama in an environment beyond your control
“Have given” not “have gave.”
There. Now you have one more reason to hate people.
You have yet to discover who you are. The shitwipes who project their shortcomings upon you deserve your refusal.
As you mature and begin to know yourself you will see this in others and a connection will be possible. Everyone else is just a NPC.
Loneliness is not the answer Trust me Save yourself while you still have all the time in the world
Better yourself
I was in the same boat leaving high school. I never had sucess with people (mainly due to never properly being taught to engage with others and also bullying, just easier to avoid people and not get hurt anymore) so I put all my focus into working immedietly to save up for my own place, moved away from my family only a couple months after graduating high school, and started college. Work, college, and my pets were my only focus for a couple years until I noticed there were certain people from work that I kept in contact with outside of work and lo and behold, I ended up with a couple of friends. Not too close bear in mind, we watch similar shows and love trying new food places so its just something we continued talking about every couple months. Then I ran into some people from high school who I ended up catching up with and now We’ve also been hanging out every now and then to play games together. Now i have like 5 people who without intending to, I enjoy talking to, keeping up with them, and consider a friend. As an adult, I’ll always reccommend you focus on yourself first of all, but during that process if you happen to meet people who you decide are worth continueing to talk to (because you have that choice now!), I believe it does end up being a good thing. Good luck homie!
High school just sucks. You’ll meet better people out in the world
Same here, everyone in my school either didnt care that I existed or bullied me for being ‘overweight’, ‘quiet’ and for being the ‘artsy kid’. The friend group I thought I was in said that (and i quote) “your supidity is funny and good for a laugh”. And at the start of highschool? One of my old middle school ‘friends’ told me: ‘I was only friends with you because you were friends with (insert other friend that moved away during the summer). So you can stop talking to me now.”
After that I kinda just said a big “fuck off” to friendship in highschool.
I came up with a senior prank i never got to use if youd like to hear it.
I always felt different. I did not steal like some girls in my class. My siblings and their friends were promiscuous. My dad taught me to never lie. I disliked religion, because I saw so many contradictions. I completed an education in Chemistry. No one really supported me. Maybe it was because I was unlikeable somehow. Anyway, march to the beat of your own drum. If you are introverted, join the massively huge crowd of us. Read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. If you ever read one book, this is it. I read it when I was 16. I am 64 now and still apply the principles. You take care and don’t be hard on yourself. There is not a big spotlight on you, because everyone is just thinking about themselves, mostly.
Same with me
Yeah, people are terrible. Just do enough socializing to survive. Learn to love yourself and enjoy doing things on your own.
This is exactly why I started to hate people too and become more cold. People constantly bully me and talk shit behind my back and pretend to be nice and I got fed up with it. Tired of trying to put on a facade for people just for them to still mock me. It seems like it’s human nature to tear each other down , be spiteful, jealous , etc and it’s turned me into a bitter person. When I was nice I was mistreated and used as a doormat. But now that im more cold im called “rude and evil” you can’t fucking win with people
Lots of good comments here, especially top comment. I highly recommend trying to go to a 4-year university with dorms for freshmen. People are eager to make new friends and will sit with strangers, and leave their door open. There’s tons of clubs. A shared struggle of trying to succeed in classes. You will find your tribe. Don’t love life alone. I know it’s hard…been there. It’s up and down, sometimes it feels like you take 1 step forward 2 steps back. But when you start to see sprouts of community around you, that’s when you see how far you’ve come. And it’s all worth it. Good luck 🙏 God bless
People suck. But the key is to keep trying to find people who are compatible with you. Giving up will only make you more miserable.
There’s this saying that goes: if everyone you meet is an asshole then you are probably the asshole
It’s still too early to give up in my opinion. I know the feeling of being abused, neglected, treated as an object, treated as an option, etc etc.
Two of my closest friends who are like my brothers I knew in highschool but we started hanging out during the end of highschool and after highschool. Only one of the two I had a fight with and it was a long time ago and we got over it and we became close friends afterwards.
Highschool is garbage because of the clicks, the bullying, and other things. Relationships suck because everyone is still sort of brainwashed with the bias given by parents and teachers. I even found out lots of girls would have dated me if it wasn’t for the clicks or bias done in highschool. Highschool is the worst for a lot of people but it’s not the end of the world. Life starts after high school not during.
Try not focusing on the negative. My closest friends and me became close after highschool and I wouldn’t trade them for anything or anyone and I started looking back at my highschool as a good memory because of these two that helped me and connected with me.
The point is high school is a mess you still have a long way to go. I know I have that connection with my closest friends which makes me be happy even after all the hell I went through and that says a lot since I’m autistic and we tend to get abused often by many.
Give it time and wait. Don’t jump to conclusions when you’re still in this mess. It takes time.
You’re young, plenty of life in front of you to make real friends. Do activities that you love and find people that are passionate about the same thing. Be you and the right people will love you for it. Don’t give up on friendships cause an isolated life gives to depression, anxiety and loneliness. Just have realistic expectations. One real friend is enough. Read personal development books that teach you skills on how to be more confident and how to connect with people. Social skills are something you learn and you can overcome any awkwardness. Having been in the realm of bullying and social exclusion once I was out of high school I embraced my true extroversion though it took a lot of time and now life is pretty good. I may not have a giant social circle but I’ve met plenty just like me and we are happy in each other’s company
Your not alone. Every once in awhile i will start craving a friendship and try socializing but people usually remind me pretty quick why I cant stand them. Just a bunch of selfish, self entitled, assholes lol.
You still have a lot of people to meet in your life, particularly if you go to college
Of course I don’t know your full story, but I think it’s very likely that you either have expectations way too high, or that you are a bad friend and that’s why your friends turn out to be mean.
I totally understand 🫶🏽! You’ll find your true people someday when you least expect it 😊. I too hate people, but I’ve met my true friends.
I also, would be in the middle of drama for no reason, so I get the frustration. I’ve learned to just ignore it lol. yes, it’s easier said than done but you’ll get numb.
Bullying f*kin SUCKS ! Try taking a self defense course, let’s out the frustration 😮💨
And I wish you the best! Change your mind set a tad bit and don’t completely isolate yourself and learn you intuition on people and body language/tone and you’ll be great 😊
**Ever think – you could be the problem?**
~~Asking out of true sincerity- the path to trusting people is a hard for me one too.~~
Winners don’t quit and winners get friends, lots of them. Life isn’t supposed to be easy so learn, improve and retry,…. UNTIL.
I’m 23 and often fight the urge to decide everyone is terrible and give up. Recently I’ve made a couple friends in their early 30s and found I enjoy their company a lot more. They’re responsible, understanding and know exactly who they are/what its like to still be figuring the world out. You may find better company in someone who’s more like a mentor to you. Obviously I have to say be very careful because there are sick adults out there with bad intentions towards young people. But it might be good to find a normal good adult person in your life that you can trust.
Fuck you man! You’ll learn and get great at social skills. It doesn’t matter if others treat you bad. You treat yourself and others good and you will be treated good.
I’m sorry, that sounds tough, but I have faith in you. I was exactly like you, I hated myself and was so depressed since a young age. I’m 23 now but in the past two years, my life has improved a lot. Just hang in there, things will get so much better as you learn to understand yourself better. Focus on self improvement and do your best where it counts. I’m so sorry life is tough right now but trust me it gets better. You will find people who will accept you for who you are and they will never make you feel like an outsider.
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I’m on the spectrum so naturally, it is harder for me to get close to people. In middle school I had 1 friend, but that dissolved after she let her girlfriend slap me in the face for no reason (literally I was laughing, but my hand on her shoulder *slap*) and instead of taking my side when I walked away told me not to “do this” and then I joined a group of “friends” that kicked me out of the friend group cuz I couldn’t make a party due to work. But trust me when I say there are good people out there. When I was at my lowest I finally said “screw it” and got a steam account and joined a prop hunt server. Yeah I didn’t vibe with everyone there but the few I did vibe with liked me back, then at my job I started to open up to my co-workers and we realized that we did have things in common! But I think that what really made me come out of my shell was when I decided to change my hair. I know that might sound weird but being a girl and always being expected to have long hair and to style it often is a hassle, and for me, I was hiding behind my hair. So I decided to get a pixie cut and become a little more confident. The physical change wasn’t well received by all my family but I didn’t care cuz the ones that did like it where the ones I cared about most. But my personality did make a change to, i went out more, I talked more to my friends, and so forth. Therapy also had a HUGE role for me as well since I was more traumatized by my past then I thought, but all in all it’s been ok. Nothing will ever be perfect, and ya know what? It doesn’t have to be, there will always be ups and downs, and tbh I don’t have many friends too but that is because I’m careful of who I chose to be my friend. If there are certain things you enjoy, there is gonna be a club for it. Like sports? Join a club! Like dungeons and dragons, I bet there is a public session you can join either in person or online! Like video games? Try to start with communities that aren’t known for their toxicity. Reading, book club! I promise there are people out there for ya, you just gotta be the one to search for it sometimes. It won’t always fall into your lap, but when you put yourself out there it can come back with rewards. Stay strong, and know there are people that do care
Go to college and focus on your studies. Focus on being a rational person and less on the emotion and drama from others. Even if you don’t make friends you’ll at least graduate with a degree and be on your way to a good career and pay (assuming you chose the right degree). Don’t let others keep you down, make something of yourself that you could be proud of.
You either has a really bad luck or you simply hate yourself. Either way when everything seems wrong, you are normally what is wrong.
Your best years are ahead of you. Once you leave behind high school, you will not see most of those people ever again.
Just figure yourself out and be your true authentic self. You will attract true spirits that way, and you will find your tribe.
I promise you.
I’m so sorry. This is a particularly isolating and rough time in history. And high school, well, even the popular kids are faking it quite a bit. Please don’t give up on people. Maybe take a break from expecting much from anyone at your school. A change in your situation (graduation, a job, travel or more school) will improve your life. Hold on!!!
Youth sucks for many people, but life for many gets better once that’s passed.
Same just don’t let that hate turn into misery
Please don’t give up. People get better as they age. Young people can be difficult and short-sighted and immature and your experiences speak to that fact. I made the best friends of my life in college. I’m only friends with one friend that I made prior to that. (I’m 42F)
Our ability to judge character gets better the older we get, too. You’ll keep learning how to spot the losers, the assholes, and the selfish ones. You’ll be able to filter out A LOT more of them. Once in a while one still might get through, but you’ll have other GOOD friends for support when that happens.
Hang in there my friend. Don’t lose hope. As humans, we’re hard-wired for connection. Keep connecting.
Hey, don’t give up. You deserve to have good friends. A good thing to do is to go to places where people hang out that are into similar things as you. I know that’s not easy necessarily, but you have to socialize, there’s no getting around that.
If you just hang out with people who share your interests and you act yourself (and don’t annoy them by apologizing for your existence or being annoying etc.) then friendships are bound to happen.
You really do deserve to have friends. Good luck!