I’ve had a few experiences in life where it made me have deep trust issues.
and on top of the I have my mom who lectures me on all bad things women do.
this caused me to think of planning prenups for when I get married, putting my money in my LLC or my mom’s name, so she can’t take my $$$ in case of divorce, etc.
and I sat down and realize I shouldn’t be thinking like this.
33 comments
Nah you’re doing the right thing. Society will not protect us from women. We have to protect ourselves from these vipers.
Dont feel bad my friend . You have the right idea. Always get a prenup.
Don’t take all your advice from a squad of 20-something redditors. /R/askmen is a pretty low bar
As the saying goes, you are paying interest on money you haven’t even borrowed. In other words, you are creating the reality you don’t want by obsessing on what hasn’t happened.
Your anxiety may be due to your mom’s anxiety. A therapist likely would give you insight as to how she has poisoned your heart.
It’s easy. Take what they *say* with a grain of salt. But pay very close attention to what they *do*. If she demonstrates trustworthiness with her actions, then you’ve found yourself a good bird.
The question is can you trust *people*? If so then you *can* trust women. Might be you just had some bad luck and met some bad people (and your mom doesn’t exactly seem to be helping either).
Some people are worth your trust, some people aren’t. It’s got nothing to do with men or women.
Depends on what you want to trust them with. In general I don’t see much reasln to differentiate between men and women when it comes to trust, both can exploit the same weakness one has, the methods would simply differ. So the skill to evaluate someones character seems to be a general one.
You dont “learn” to trust anyone. You make people earn your trust.
Firstly be the guy no one would ever leave, then find someone who is not going to be shopping around all the time.
anything you already own before marriage is yours, so are things you buy from those separate assets. Even if you live in a community property state where anything after is joined, don’t marry someone who doesn’t work and be surprised that you have to give her half of what you make after marriage. Educate yourself instead of blind ignorant paranoia.
>shouldn’t be thinking like this.
Why not? Prenups are increasingly common among millennials, and the fact is that all a prenup is intended for is if you want to vary from the default divorce laws of your jurisdiction. Therefore it can be an act of intentionally looking out for each other that works both ways and helps you find a resolution more tailored to your needs and circumstances than what is generically available to the public based on a distant legislature’s long ago determinations
Wanna build trust? let her shave your face or any other place of high value.
Aim for a non-Western woman. Western women are awful marriage/mother material. Feminism has corrupted their values. They are to be short term sex partners only.
Never trust women. That’s how they get you in the first place. If she can’t manipulate or control you what power does she really have? Think about it……
I realise all women are unique individuals and there is more to them than the sex they were born as.
Sounds like you should try therapy to see if it’ll help you work through those issues.
Just take shit slow. Don’t expect too much, and give them the trust for them to lose.
It’s just the leap of faith one that you have to take
Eeasy-peasy. Learn and remember to never trust a woman
Don’t trust anyone… Just keep them in positions where they can’t hurt you and enjoy them there.
You find the right women.
Avoid trad women at all costs, most bad things that people say here about bad communication with women, or being swindled for money applies mostly to conservative women that just play the traditional roles to their advantage.
Prenup is a good suggestion, unless you are traditionalist yourself. If you are not, then why marry at all? You don’t need a piece of paper to have a partner for life
For me it’s easy. I don’t trust anyone.
Trust for me needs to be heavily earned, even when I do start to trust I keep expectations low for everyone around. Say what you will but this line of thinking has gotten me through some dark shit with my mental health intact. I don’t hold anyone in high regards.
It’s about trusting one woman, not plural. You test it, consistency is a good starting point
Your Mom is 100% correct and you have the right idea by following her advice.
If you get married, these days the women do not take the commitment seriously – after 7 years, the best 7 years of your life, they will come to you for “the conversation”
and say her emotional needs are not being met (whilst you’ve been working hard the whole 7 years, busting your guts for your family) and divorce you and take half or more of your house.
80% of divorce are by women. chance are it will happen to you. and if you live in a country where she can take everything from you, one day it WILL end badly.
follow your moms advice.
See this https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/12oj5bq/what_is_your_take_on_the_archaf_hakimi_situation/
It’s not bad to have sensible plans for possible outcomes, especially if those plans don’t cost you anything.
The easiest way you can not worry about having to trust someone is not putting yourself in a situation where your trust can be exploited.
>this caused me to think of planning prenups for when I get married, putting my money in my LLC or my mom’s name, so she can’t take my $$$ in case of divorce, etc.
and I sat down and realize I shouldn’t be thinking like this.
Why not?
There’s to elements of trust here. Trust in the specific individual vs trust in society. As a man, you shouldn’t trust society. Our society is set up to extract as much from you for the benefit of others – taxes, fighting in wars, working to enrich company owners, family courts, etc.
As for the specific woman – I judge them based on their actions and I screen for very principled women. The ‘princess’ types are recreational use only.
I have problems trusting people in general so I guess it’s an ongoing process lol
The way divorce rates are this day and age I WOULD get a prenup.
You should definitely be thinking like this. Love is one thing but keeping your financials safe is another. Dont get both twisted. Keep your financials safe, get a pre nup (and if she cant handle it or gaslights you into not getting one, she aint the one for you dude). Protect yourself.
Treat them like another man instead of putting them on a pedestal. You will easily know which ones are worth having around.
A few people are recommending therapy for trust issues which I don’t think is a bad idea, but my first thought is to just make friends with women. At work, at clubs or activities, try to just talk and interact with the women there. It sounds like your past experiences and your mom have given you a skewed perception of women, and I think that just talking will help break that down