I (27F) don’t know how to interact or talk with men.
(Okay maybe this is a bit hyperbolic and Im sure a lot of this has to do with anxiety) –
I just don’t know HOW to talk to men. I don’t know what to say to them or talk about.
I feel like they think everything I say is stupid. !!!
I don’t think I have very much in common with a majority of men. And especially if it’s a guy I’m attracted to…. I just go blank.
I’ve never been the flirty girl, the guys I’ve dated in the past have been few and far between.
I have no problem befriending girls. It’s easy. I can be my normal outgoing and bubbly self around girls. I can talk about anything and easily make friends.
How can I improve this?
I want to be that flirty confident girl who’s not afraid of guys and can banter and have intelligent reciprocal conversation.
Please give me alllll the advice before it’s too late for me.
Guys – what do you like to talk about with girls? How do you like to be approached?
5 comments
I feel the same way in actual social interactions when I’m out. I feel like I don’t talk to girls often and I don’t flirt in your as well as I do online or on apps. I would say when possible avoid bars and over doing alcohol or recreational drug use because that could actually add to your anxiety. I’ve noticed for myself when I have a really good Buzz I’m a lot more outgoing but I also don’t have as much control over my actions then I also don’t remember being outgoing or connections that I’ve made. But I would say it would be safe to approach the situation if you were out with the attitude that everyone you meet isn’t going to remember you tomorrow, and work to be your bubbly happy self with them like you are with your female friends.
Well it does sound a lot like anxiety….
And maybe like you have some unresolved trauma from men in the past?
Perhaps therapy would be useful.
Really we’re not that scary and are probably more scared of you girls honestly
Man here. Don’t know how to talk to ladies either. I generally stay away to prevent misunderstanding.
There’s a social anxiety discord group where u can try to voice chat some guys there for practice if u like. I’ve been on there for around 2 weeks. Friendly bunch and gender diversity and have international folks. Feel free to message me for discord invite. We host some random online games there too like online pictionary
Guys and girls are both just people first and they talk about the same stuff. You have to stop trying so hard. Just be more interested in the other person and less focuses on how you are acting and what you’re saying. A good negotiation tacit that works great for social interaction is repeating the last three words of what someone says back to them. It feels weird at first but works incredibly well for building rapport
Stop putting men on a pedestal. Men are humans too. You need to genuinely connect with them in real life. You need to invite them to a real life activity or a face to face conversation. Ask how they are, their hobbies, interests goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what they say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.