I (29F) have been struggling with my last few hook ups…. Guys not really eating pussy or fingering well at all. If it’s someone I’ve been with for a while I feel more comfortable giving directions, but when it’s the first time I don’t want to seem too overbearing (also had a bad experience recently when I asked the guy to finger me a certain way and he sarcastically / rudely said “okay mom”… not like in a mom kink way)
TLDR I want to get the most pleasure out of sexual experiences but don’t want to offend — what’s the best way to do this?
4 comments
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If a guy is fingering you or rubbing your clit and it’s just not working, it’s hot (to me at least) if you hold his hand/fingers and guide him to the right spot.
Hold it/rub where it feels good and use his fingers as a “toy.” If he’s smart, he’ll pick up on that and figure it out. If not, well… perhaps he stays a one night stand.
Best way is to be direct. Tell them what you want and how you want it.
If one of them does not react positively to direction like the “ok mom” guy, stop the session, get dressed and go find a man who is more mature and actually WANTS their partner to enjoy themselves.
No man who I have ever been with who was a decent dude has ever reacted negatively to direction in the bedroom.
I haven’t been in the dating scene for a long time but have friends that are…even the ones that love giving oral are often hesitant to go down in a casual relationship/hookup…but they sure as heck make up for that in other ways to make sure the girl is pleased.
But on the communication part — with fingering try guiding his hand to do what you need him to…I also think it’s better to give positive reinforcement/praise in the moment when they are doing something the way you want…you could also try making the request into some sexy/dirty talk rather than straight up direction.