Example, I do not want to always be the one reaching out first, talking or wanting to get together, but people always say that they’re so busy or forgetful. They’ll say that we need to get together but never follow through. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
So, a lot of times, I work through my anxiety and reach out but then I feel like said friendship is pretty one sided.
There are questionable friends that I will hear from, (after I reach out to them) maybe once every two or three months.
In anyone experiences, could these be excuses and they really have no interest in said friendship with me or something else?
1 comment
Their actions clearly show you they aren’t interested. People make time and effort for whom they want to make time and effort for. Often times, people will say these seemingly nice things like “we should hang out sometime” because they don’t want to say “Sorry, but I got other people that I value more than you”, which they know will hurt your feelings.
Understand this. People’s initial impressions of you matter quite a lot. They notice your appearance and how you act around them during the first few interactions you had with them. If you showed people initially that you don’t exhibit sociable traits or bring any positive energy or vibes or that you don’t really add any value to the conversations as a whole, they will not interact with you further. Period. For example, if you were a quiet person to the point you never really spoke or contributed to the conversation, they will perceive you as quiet and exclude you, whether you like it or not. Nobody gains an epiphany later on to include you. You are how you act.
You need to practice speaking to people, and doing so in a confident manner. Conversations should involve a balance of listening AND speaking. If you want to be perceived as social, likable, respectable, etc. , you need to actually exhibit such traits from the start, not later on.