I don’t know if I’m just paranoid but I feel like I’m the butt of most peoples jokes these days. At work I feel like I don’t bring my personality much and I’m unable to have much banter and I don’t talk much. At home I’m quite loud and outgoing imo. But as a teen I seemed to have more charm and I made friends easily. I have put on weight now and I have some on and off mental health issues. I’m in my 30s and it’s been like this for a while. Id say I have a good life but I find it hard to love myself as I am. I know I can be fun and likeable with people I’m close to but at work I feel passive, weak and boring. I don’t know if it’s just my self esteem telling me that though. Anyone else in a similar position?
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I can’t offer you any advice, but I understand totally what you are describing.
As a teen l had a good social life, I was liked and had several friends.
20 years ago I moved abroad and slowly but surely everyone I knew dropped off and now I’m 42 with 1
‘kind of friend’ and that’s it.
I didn’t really think much of it but during COVID I realized how nobody cared enough to get in touch and it really did a number on my self esteem.
Now every slight imagined or real is like a dagger to my heart.
I feel awkward when I talk to people and all recent attempts on my part to make new friends has failed.