I have Autism Spectrum Disorder, so making eye contact doesn’t come naturally to me. I can force myself to do it, but the problem is, I’m focused on making eye contact—not what the person is saying. I’ll only retain ~25% of what’s said. When I don’t make eye constant, however, I retain ~95%. It’s almost like I can picture the words and visualize what they’re saying in my mind.
People think I’m not paying attention and am disinterested. This couldn’t be further from the truth, though. It’s also not a socially acceptable way of communicating. I need to figure out a solution.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!
3 comments
hey i’m also autistic and i’ve found that if you’re looking at the general direction of the eyes, most people don’t notice the difference. so you can look in between their eyes, at their forehead, at their eyebrows, it really doesn’t matter. hope this helps!
You can do soft occasional glances if that makes you feel more comfortable. At the times when you arent making eye contact you can nod your head “yes” to help them understand you are listening at the point in which you would have agreed .
I have autism too. Autistic people don’t tend to be able to make eye contact. I look around when I’m talking to people. I glance back to their faces general direction every few seconds. But no actual eye contact. I guess i can kinda “pepper it in”. A second here or there. But not for longer than a second. Don’t worry about it it’s just who we are, no one needs eye contact. It has nothing to do with effective communication, I can have a conversation fine without it. People will get used to it. If they ask, simply explain. This isn’t really an appropriate post for socialskills because it’s not a skill you can learn, you’re talking about something in the fabric of who you are.