Anyways, I (20f) am a student in European Union who is very active and passionate about my studies, sooo, I decided that I wanted to go and spend my semester in Erasmus (Portugal) for extra international experience. 5 months prior to that me and my boyfriend (22m) started dating. I can say, that I loved him then and love him now very much. Then the time came and I finally had to go to Portugal. It was extremely hard to say goodbye for both of us.
For reference, there is this site in my country that involves dating, but not only dating. It also includes sections like “Women looking for a man for sex” and “Man looking for a woman for sex”.
He gave some red flags about 1 week before leaving that he would like to experience the “beauty” of the site in general, because of the secrecy and anonymity behind it (you can pretty much also just communicate by emails). He supposedly was just fantasizing. Well, after he said it, it did not sit with me right.
When I got to Portugal, and I was there for a week or so. I went to that site, to clear my doubts about him NOT cheating on me. Unfortunately, that was the moment when i found his “ad” how his girlfriend went abroad and he is looking for a woman to fuck. It obviously didn’t show his name or phone number, but it definitely looked like he would have written it. The only contact information in that “ad” was an email that had a novel name.
I wrote an email how I wanted to “meet up” with him. Additionally, to confirm it’s him, I needed some evidence. So, I also asked him what was he studying, where was he living, etc. His response was very abstract so that he wouldn’t incriminate himself obviously. We sent each other a couple emails, and then he sent a phone number (it wasn’t his personal). I wrote him a couple messages there and then it stopped. By then I was not 100% sure that it was him. The only way to know that it was him, was by confronting him with very specific details.
A few days later i confronted him and he admitted it. He said that he supposedly didn’t sleep with anyone.
Yes, we are still together, except he is not cheating on me. At least i hope so.
But, yes, wanted to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading!
4 comments
it is five months. You wanna deal with this the rest of your life?
If you can’t trust him to be honest about the intention to do it and he did put the ad up, he likely already has cheated or is looking for candidates. Putting up an ad without your partner being on board is already cheating emotionally. If he’s that turned on by the idea, he will or has acted on it.
i’m going to be straight up with you it’s not worth it if you can’t trust someone that’s not worth dealing with you have so much of your life ahead of you and i know it’s going to hurt to leave someone you love but it gets better and with time you’ll find that right person for you
i’m going to be straight up with you it’s not worth it if you can’t trust someone that’s not worth dealing with you have so much of your life ahead of you and i know it’s going to hurt to leave someone you love but it gets better and with time you’ll find that right person for you