Hi all,
Basically I’m (28M) dealing with a breakup currently. I was unemployed and I’d been getting pretty depressed and having a kind of crisis of self confidence which made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for them (26F). In a kind of emotional panic I broke it off. Obviously with some distance and some clarity I can say I absolutely still wanted to be with them but decisions were made and here we are!
I tried to get back in touch with them a little while after to see if I could explain myself a little but this wasn’t received well. The wounds were obviously still fresh, they asked for some more time before we started a discussion, I agreed and said I would step back and let them be the one to initiate conversation. At the time I thought this was the only decision to make but as time has gone on I’ve felt more and more like I’ve actually put an unfair amount of pressure on them to make the first move. I have a huge amount of apologizing and explaining I feel like I need to do so I’ve been sitting with the idea of just getting it all out there and letting them use that to decide whether they want to get back in touch.
I’ve written out a fairly lengthy message to send to them going over how I understand the breakup came to happen and apologizing for the shock and pain I inflicted, but also how I’ve come to better understand what it is I want from a relationship and how I’m feeling much more secure in myself. My impulses are telling me very strongly that I need to communicate this stuff to them, I need to show I’m still genuinely invested.
I’m not really looking for advice I guess, I’m pretty sure I’m going to send them what I’ve written, along with some of their favourite foods that I’ll make myself as a kind of olive branch. I guess I’m just looking for other perspectives and experiences. From the relationships I’ve observed of family and friends it’s rare that a proper reconciliation happens, or if it does the resulting reunion isn’t particularly long lived right? If you have an experience with this kind of reconnection and reconciliation I’d love to hear it.
TLDR: Broke up with my girlfriend during a period of depression. Almost immediately recognised it as a mistake. I want to get back in touch to let them know what happened and that I still love them.