I mean, I’ve been shitted on and betrayed or just downright fucked over by pretty much every single human being in my life. This isn’t really an opinion. So why is it that the fact that I would never trust another person again considered trust issues? I mean, the truth of it is that most, (if we’re being honest, all people) are not going to be there for you when you need them. Unconditional love is myth. Isn’t this just plain fact?
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If you know a person well then you can trust that they’ll be that person in the future and you can make predictions about it. My drunk cousin can come over and feed my pets if i need him too, but if I leave any booze around he’ll take it
So he’s both trustworthy and untrustworthy
What do people need to be there for you to consider them trustworthy?
This is just my opinion. I think some people when they first moved someone they want to try to impress them they might figure a little white lie here in there they’re getting to know them maybe I think it burns them points it really doesn’t but because and it was all that I was using that best judgment when they first meet someone. Later on they learn in some may say the hard way that it was a mistake. I’ve done this and I’m not proud but I also know that I everything I say is the absolute truth and I know all too well not to make that mistake again that it was stupid foolish wrong it was just trying to impress. When you really realize the value of the person in front of you and you don’t want to do anything other than respect that person. We’re all entitled to mistake. But make it just that one mistake. And it shouldn’t be hard just to tell the truth from that point on and maybe you can get trust back then they realize how seriously you mean what you say
Your first sentence screams trust issues. “Every single person in my life has fucked me over” speaks volumes about the perspective you are living with. I’m sure you’ve been fucked over a few times, and maybe more than most, but by every single person in your life is a stretch. I’d say that’s more indicative of how you judge events/people, and having the attitude of just shutting down to never trusting anyone again is textbook trust issues.
Just because most people have their own lives and can’t drop everything to be there for you doesn’t mean you can’t trust them. Hell, most people I know don’t have a relationship with me where that is expected of them or me.
You’re looking at things from a very black and white perspective, and in your very limited post you come across as expecting quite a lot from people. Maybe you’re just misjudging your relationships with people, or you’re someone who is willing to sacrifice a lot for very little, either way I encourage you to step back and look at things more objectively and ask if you’ve really been screwed over by everyone in your life or if there is something you’re doing to lead you to feel that way.
Please feel free to clarify what you mean and point out where I’ve misunderstood, but reading your post makes me imagine you are someone who very quickly might label someone as untrustworthy if they aren’t there for you once, instead of adjusting your perspective of the relationship.
Edit: I looked at your post history to try and find some clues and I wanted to point out that I see you are hurting, and are in a bit of a struggle right now in your life, but it’s only temporary. Me saying this won’t just “fix” it, but I want you to know that alot of the negative you’re seeing is because of the lense you’re viewing life through. Being depressed, or feeling worthless almost forces you to take the most hopeless perspective possible and it seems like you’re in the midst of it. Bad news is just being aware of it doesn’t make it go away. Good news is that the way things may seem to you now isn’t quite an accurate portrayal of reality. Remember the ego is the voice in your head that says “I” and “me”, and that part loves to be right, so if you feel worthless your ego is going to do everything it can to prove itself right. While it’s not easy to re-learn how to listen to your thoughts, it’s a hell of a lot easier than having to change the world. Luckily you’ve only got to worry about the former. You’ve got this, it’s not quite as bad a it seems, and there are plenty of people who felt the same way you feel now and have found a way to no longer feel that way.
>not trusting the majority of people
>I would never trust another person again
These are two entirely different things.
Trust is something you build up. It’s normal to not trust the majority of people because with the majority of people you don’t have a bond built up.
Saying that you are never going to trust anyone ever again means you are going to actively stop yourself from building a bond with anyone. Why is that considered having trust issues? Because you are projecting issues and feelings from the past onto people that have nothing to do with that past.
Every human being must be considered evil until they prove otherwise. That’s it.
Trust is a gradient and it sounds like you either give people everything or nothing. This kind of behavior pushes away reasonable people and leaves behind predatory people who will exploit that trust. As a result, you’ll find yourself without any trustworthy people nearby and only manipulative people.
Reasonably trustworthy people get pushed away by extreme behaviours such as trauma dumping, unrealistic expectations of availability, unrealistic expectations for emotional closeness too soon, and unrealistic expectations for moral purity.
Most people make mistakes, act a little selfishly, but try their best anyway. When I’ve worked with people with trust issues (e.g. you) the problem tends to start with inaccurate perspectives on what to expect from humans, tied with moving too quickly, tied with dangling opportunities for selfish people to hurt you. Not that it’s your fault that other people are bad, but there are tools you can use to avoid getting hurt that you could use with a more gradual, slower approach to relationships.
To function in society you have to be able to trust others to some degree. You (presumably) trust that your doctor gave you medicine instead of poison, you trust that the barber wont cut your throat while shaving you, that your employer will pay you at the end of the month, etc. You don’t really know these people, why are you trusting them with your health and finances? What if they’re hiding something and secretly plan to harm you?
This is obviously insane. Distrusting others on the basis of ‘they could harm me if they wanted to’ isn’t a healthy way of thinking. The vast majority of people aren’t actively planning to hurt you. The ‘issue’ is that not being able to form healthy relationships with others is actually more likely to hurt you in the long run.