Ever since I[30M] first started having sex I’ve always needed to make sure my partner was satisfied. Ive always welcomed toys, kinks, fetishes with ease. It’s probably akin to me wanting to be a people pleaser but kind of selfish in most other aspects in life. I just find the joy of giving someone absolute pleasure the most exciting thing and always have, even with partners who didn’t care. Can this be seen as a double edged sword? Or selfish in itself?
3 comments
Some people are just givers when it comes to sex. It’s not a double-edged sword unless you’re neglecting your own needs. It may not seem like a big deal when it happens but if someone doesn’t bother pleasing you in return, you’ll build up resentment at some point.
It’s okay and great even to want to please your partner, just make sure you recognize if someone is being selfish or inconsiderate.
I get way more out of getting my wife off than I do getting off myself. It took her some time to accept that being greedy in the bedroom is a massive turn on for me but she is totally cool with it now. She knows that I will always tell her when I need to get off. Outside of that, she can ask for as much of anything she wants.
As far as a double edged sword goes, there is a huge one. If you are with a woman who has a tremendous capacity for pleasure, and it doesn’t work out, more typical women will leave you very frustrated. This happened to me 20 years ago and I was lucky to find my wife. She is perfect for me right down to her tremendous capacity for pleasure.
Apparently you get satisfaction if you know your partner is satisfied. There is nothing wrong with this, many men have this. For example, my boyfriend also, this happens because the male orgasm and sensations during sex are weaker than female ones, so you are morally satisfied than physiologically