I wouldnt go very detailed into it but, me and my gf (both 18)were having sex in my room and i thought my mom was out of town, until i hear a loud knock on the my room , i realized she came much earlier and my sister already opened main door for her. My relation with my mother isnt really the greatest and she is not really open whereas my father is complete opposite so i always felt sex isnt something really immoral or bad, anyway, when i heard the knock on the door, it was like my whole world stopped, we both rushed to wear our clothes, i was feeling extremely anxious, scared and worried , and when she found out i was with my *female friend* in a closed room she got very angry and we had a fight later and things became a mess
I am sure things would have been dealt differently if my father lived with us but due to work he cannot, and this thing is just bothering me everyday
Ever since whenever i think of having some *me time* or even while having sex or sexting , anything which relates to sex, that door knock just runs in my mind outta nowhere , which turns off my mood immediately and its gotten worse to the point that, i just hear door knock randomly in middle of the day and it makes me hella scared and reminds me of that day
Anyone has any idea how i can deal with this issue? What should i do?
Sorry for my bad English
3 comments
Can you contact you dad and talk to him about the situation? Or do you have a mentor you can talk to about it?
It sounds almost like PTSD in a way, I hate to say it but I think you need to have a talk with your mom. You’re 18 and can have a discussion with her about what happen and how it made you feel. She might get mad or angry about it but you just need to reminder her that you’re 18 now and not a little kid. Sure you live under her roof and her rules which if she says no sex in your room, than you can listen to her and follow her rules or move out. I also don’t get how parents can get mad at their kids for having sex. If you did your job as a parent and talked to them about it and talk about using protection EVER time but why get mad if they are having sex. I mean unless it is a religion thing of course.
Hell I remember being 16 almost 17 and my mom had left for work and she normally gets home around 5pm. So my gf comes over and we are having sex in my room and of course what happens! She came home early. We didn’t hear her come home though and she walked in on us and it felt sooo embarrassing to have your mom walk in on you. Now we were not 18 but we had been together almost 2 years at that point and she loved my gf. So she closes the door and said, and I shit you not lol when you two are done, can I talk to both of you lol. She never got mad at me for it. She talked to me about sex and protection and things like that. She didn’t care about the wait till marriage thing it was never a thing for her. I couldn’t look at my mom for like 2 weeks in the eye lol. We talked about what happen and life went on. If your mom can’t talk to you about it and like an adult than, I am not sure what you can really do other then move out, which at 18 is really fucking hard to do.
You have anxiety. I was trying to manage a property ten hours away. It seemed like every time the phone rang, there was something wrong with the property. Every time the phone rang, I would get so anxious. After I sold the property, it took me six months to a year to not get anxious when the phone rang. I ended up on anxiety medication, which I don’t recommend because a side effect is having difficulty reaching an orgasm.
If you have health insurance, I would recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. If you can’t afford therapy, then this is what I recommend. Come up with a phrase to say when you hear a knock on the door such as: “It’s just a knock. It’s not my mom. It’s OK.” The hard part is saying this phrase in your head or out load when you hear a knock on the door. Saying a phrase engages the logical side of your brain. It helps to reduce the anxiety and slowly changes the memory. Your anxiety is on the other side of your brain, and you can’t reason with it. You could even practice. Ask someone to knock on your door one or twice a day.
Whatever you do, don’t judge your anxiety or get upset when you feel anxious. That reinforces it. Just acknowledge it, but don’t react to it.