Hi!
Above question. I (m, 33) have only been in faithful monogamous relationships before, and at the moment, I am still heartbroken because of my last relationship that ended 9 months ago. I am not ready for commitment yet, still I crave for physical affection. Women describe me as handsome and charming, yet I am not very good at seducing women on dates. (I never want to cross boundaries and am too careful, or rather often not brave enough to make the first move as long as I am only attracted physically, because I don’t intend to break hearts due to wrong expectations or hurt anyone by objectifying them. There are enough women who lost their trust in men.)
Long story short: I just long for sex and thought about joining a swinger community. I did a bit of research and am surprised how many sex parties and swinger clubs exist in my city. The idea of joining in such a sexual adventure for a few months excites me. Of course, only with protection.
However, I want to be in a romantic monogamous relationship when I feel I am emotionally fully available again. I am afraid that living out some sexual fantasies now will destroy future relationships, because women might be too disgusted by this idea that I would have had sex with a lot of women.
What is your take on that? Thanks!
4 comments
My answer to your question, personally, is no.
However, you may want to temper your expectations of the swinging community, particularly as a single man. It will most likely not be a place for you to have unlimited sex for a few months, even if you are a nice, confident man who is able to pick up dates easily in regular situations. Some of those parties and clubs that you’ve found may not even allow single men.
But! I definitely think it can be a good idea for everyone to explore their sexual desires in whatever safe and fun ways they want, so don’t be discouraged.
Yes I would.
It would mean that we have very different views on relationships and sex.
I would end the relationship if she told me she’d been a swinger.
My answer is no, well, because I’ve been in sex clubs and have had foursomes with my bf/fwb.
I take no issues with it whatsoever.
On the other hand, like other commenters have said, being a single man usually makes it more difficult for you in that lifestyle.
In the end you have a choice to make…for me, I don’t care because I only like kinky men anyway. If a man finds it disgusting that I’ve had foursomes, I would simply find us incompatible.
I wouldn’t have a problem with that at all. Actually might even be a plus point. I like men who are sexually confident and explorative.