Hi guys, i’m a 21F and my bf is 24M. So today i was on his phone and accidentally came upon a search that said “not sexually attracted to my gf of 2 years”. so now i don’t know what to do. I feel extremely uncomfortable and we’ve been in a weird stage the past week arguing and stuff. Not to mention he has ocd to the point when he has one thought that scares him he’ll have the compulsion to google it. im scared and don’t know what to do
14 comments
Confront him
Just leave the relationship already
I suggest you guys talk it out first before going to the whole “leave him”. Talk to him about it. Why is he not attracted anymore? Are you guys not doing something you guys used to?
If you feel it’s a lost cause, you deserve to find someone who finds you attractive and love you unconditionally.
Just ask him directly. Say that you came across it accidentally and that it made you feel really shitty.
Communicate. Talk to him about it.
did you try asking him about it?
I understand how seeing that would hurt. I would say talk to him about it in a non-accusatory, nonjudgemental way. As someone with relationship OCD, I have definitely googled things like that about my bf, but it doesn’t mean those thoughts are necessarily “true.”
You should try to talk to him tbh
Don’t be scared; it’s simply time to hit the eject button and use the parachute for a gentle landing. You’re 21 years old, and your life shouldn’t be spent trying to help a guy sort out the snakes in his head. Life’s too short to be wasted on those undeserving of your attention.
I wish you well.
You need to talk with him about the search. It’s an important topic and communication is key in a relationship. If it weren’t for the ocd mention I believe it would have been more straight forward, but given the situation you can’t know if the search was a compulsion or his true feelings.
If he has ocd, and it already manifests as him Googling random and intrusive thoughts, this really could have been him simply Googling a random thought. Especially with OCD and other anxiety based disorders, I thought is not true just because it’s a thought. I would try to look at your arguments and stuff and focus on that, and not on this search.
Instead of snooping through his phone, try and have an actual conversation with him
Agreeing with those who say speak to him. I have OCD as well, and it often manifests as intrusive, disturbing thoughts. These thoughts are almost always not true but I get concerned that they COULD become true and then obsess over it (including google searches). If he struggles with OCD, these could be unhealthy and intrusive thoughts. I’d also suggest he see a therapist, it’s helped me control this immensely.
Talk to him