I am a 21 female in college and still do not have a group of friends. There are lots of people here and there that I do things with, but I don’t have an actual group. I am new to this school as a transfer, and have found it challenging to make friends with people my age as they became friends with people when they were freshmen. I also made a group of friends over the summer, but two of the “ringleaders” treated me like shit and others went along with them, so I don’t really have those friends before.
I was diagnosed with ASD and am still working on accepting those aspects about myself. I am in a sorority but have noticed that it is hard for me to talk when there are lots of people and I just am on the outsides. I try really hard to meet people and make friends, but I feel like I don’t have good relationships. People never reach out to me, I am constantly reaching out to other people about plans. Some people will never respond/leave me on read, while others tell me they have plans last minute and do things with other people.
I go to a school where people are constantly doing homework and studying, and I understand that things come up. It’s just frustrating because I am constantly trying to make plans with people to do things, and there are always excuses. Sometimes I like being by myself and not doing much, though. I recently found a partner and we usually spend a few nights together each week going for dinner, watching a movie, and just hanging out, which I absolutely love. I have never been into big parties and going out and getting drunk (I left my old school cause it was a huge party school). I know lots of people still do that here and I want to try it every once in a while to still get the college experience. But most of my friends will just study and do homework on nights and weekends. I want to be able to still go out and have fun, even if it is going downtown (near a huge city) or playing games with people, but can never find people to do things with. If I make plans in advance, people say it’s too far and they don’t know their schedule, but when I make plans closer, people are already busy.
I’m just very lonely and wish that I had more people to do things with. It’s hard to make friends here because lots of people are busy with school or already have their groups. I’m sick of trying because things constantly don’t work out, and I have “friends” tell me that I’m such an awful person. I don’t want to just give up because I want to make the most out of my college experience, but I’m just so exhausted of trying to build relationships and not succeeding.