Aside from following and barely staying Instagram with two classmates from high school I’ve known my whole life, and the same with some classmates from community college. I’m now about to graduate from a four year school with no friends outside of a roommate who can kinda be an asshole sometimes but we’ve bonded through living together and a few other adventures, but other than that, I have no social life no friends never had a g**lfreind and have no idea what I’m gonna do with my life. In my head I feel like I’m gonna likely move back in with my parents and work some random job until I save enough to move out and help the family business long enough for me and my brother to take over. And all I’ll be doing with the rest of my life is wake up, go to the gym, work, eat, sleep, see a movie on the weekend, rinse and repeat. The family business is a storage unite facility so it’s not like there’s many people there. And I just feel like I’ve been coasting through life I just want friends. But in everything I’ve done to do so here at my college connect with classmates, or attend socials through KAP (a program that assists students on the autism spectrum) sign up and attend adventure trips through the on campus gyms outdoor recreation facility, every time I’ve done something in which I’ve interacted with people no one stuck I couldn’t get anything to stick. I didn’t know what to do I might have talked to and interacted with people along the way but I just don’t know where to go or what to do, I want to connect with someone on a deeper level or any level but I feel like I’m just coasting through life.
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Buy a van or somthin and live in it, you never know
Once upon a time, there was a person named RepresentativeState3. They had just graduated from college and were feeling lost and lonely. They had always struggled to make friends and didn’t have any close relationships outside of their roommate, who could be difficult to get along with at times.
One day, while scrolling through social media, RS3 saw a post about a local ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS (replace with something that excites you) club. RS3 had always been interested in ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS but had never tried it before. Feeling a surge of excitement, RS3 decided to attend one of the club’s meetings.
At the meeting, RS3 met several members of the club and was immediately drawn to their passion for the sport. RS3 started attending more meetings and events, and soon found themself spending most of their free time with the group.
One week, RS3 decided to invite an old friend from high school to join them for a ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS trip with the club. The friend was hesitant at first, but eventually agreed to come along. Over the course of the trip, the friend bonded with several members of the club and even decided to join themself.
As RS3 continued to spend time with the club, RS3 started organizing larger events and outings, including a weekend CAMPING trip and a group DINNER PARTY at their parents storage facility kitchen. RS3 found themself becoming more and more comfortable socially, and started forming deeper connections with the members of the group.
Months turned into years, and RS3 continued to build strong relationships with their fellow ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS friends. They even met a member of the opposite sex at one of the club’s events and eventually started dating them. Through their involvement with the club, RS3 had found a community of like-minded individuals who shared their passion for ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS and had become some of their closest friends.
Looking back on his college days, RS3 realized that they had been coasting through life, but now felt fulfilled and happy. They knew they had found a lifelong passion in ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS and a lifelong community in the ROCK-PAPER-SCISSORS club.
If it makes you feel any better, I just graduated college and I’m honestly way happier now. I was in a similar boat to you, never had a girlfriend, all my friends were temporary. But I’m still having a fun time!
I learned to just enjoy doing things by myself and I happen to live in a city with a bunch of cool events. It does suck that friendships don’t seem to last, but I’m really happy with the people I do talk to these days!
I would suggest looking into Meetup or Facebook events and just seeing if anything catches your eye.
Give yourself some time to find your footing. In some ways, I felt just like you for awhile, but with therapy, life changes, and working on myself, I feel like I’ve grown a lot. It’s hard, but I think it’s how a lot of people feel especially right after graduating and it’s ok to feel that way.
I was the same and have grown very bitter an angry in my old age. I shouldn’t be though as it’s my fault no one likes me I’m probably just too boring to be liked. Even family members don’t call anymore.
If I could give advice I would say to try to like yourself. It sounds very simple but if I could go back 20 years to be your age I would try to like myself more.
If you’re into fitness, then join a gym that offers group workouts. It doesn’t have to be like a boot camp thing, unless you want it to be. I had a very difficult time socially basically my whole life and I still feel unsatisfied with my current situation. However, my saving grace in high school was the CrossFit gym I went to. Super nervous starting out, but still showed up everyday and eventually I got comfortable. Still have great relationships from there and I’m now 2 years out of college and haven’t been an active member there in 5 years. I’m not saying you should do CrossFit, bc I know a lot of people have negative feelings about that. But there’s a lot of other options for basically any training style: Olympic lifting, powerlifting, strongman…
To be honest with you making friends only gets harder when you’re out of school, so you’ll have to make an effort and take a chance on putting yourself out there.