So i’m feeling really lost right now.. my boyfriend and I have been together two years and a half… sleeping together every day, eating together every day…F(21) M(21) … We have such a beautiful relationship, so much love and affection… Through our whole relationship we’ve never had any kinds of problems like this one…l’m going to make this story quick and easy.. I had told my boyfriend on Monday we had to attend a celebration on Saturday, he agreed to go with me.. Saturday comes around and he bails on me last minute.. obviously l’m furious, after seeing how angry I got, he begged me to allow him to go with me, since this wasn’t his first time standing me up, I didn’t let him.. I was so angry because this wasn’t the first time he did this, I broke up with him over the phone, I was trying to scare him a little so he can see that he can actually lose me, since i’m the type to forgive easily and quickly I wanted to show him that he can lose me… Keep in mind we’ve never broken up before so this was a big deal, for both of us…. I went to another party with my friends, and he went out with his friends… Come to find out, one of my friends was at the same club my boyfriend was.. she sent me a video of him talking to a girl, obviously the club is really loud, in the video.. they were talking in each others ear, and when the girl comes close to my boyfriends ear, he puts his hand on her butt for a good 5 seconds.. and he’s smiling and she’s smiling they’re flirty… Not even 5 hours passed by of being broken up and he was already doing that…. Again, this was the first time we ever broken up, in the two-almost-three years of dating… He claims he was so drunk because of all the hurtful things I said over the phone.. I went to get my stuff from his house in the middle of the night and he was bawling, begging me to stop and stay, he was apologizing and saying he never meant for anything to happen and that he loves me and he promises that nothing like this happened or will happen again..
(He put as an example that we could work things out because he forgave me right away when I was accepting drinks from guys at the club and one of them grabbed me by the waist while giving me a shot weeks ago, keep in mind my boyfriend was at the club with me when this happened, he was watching me and he did nothing)…………
I was so hurt…All of his friends are cheaters, and encourage him to go out… I love him so much, I want to forget everything, I feel betrayed but I want to try and work things out since it’s the very first time this ever happens….He keeps telling me the video isn’t what is seems to be.. he keeps denying it…Nothing like this ever happened in these years don’t know what to do ???? Please I need some advice…
1 comment
Focus on the actual issues in your relationship instead of a 5 second butt grab and you’ll be fine. We’re disconnected as people and want to feel seen, but don’t recognize we have to see others in the process.
Always remember to communicate logically without theatrics. Friends only have influence in your relationship a) if you allow them the space to and b) if they’re provide a freer environment for communication and support than you are.
Communicate without being viscous and I’m sure your relationship will be fine.