I’m 22 (f) and I’ve been living with severe social anxiety and depression since I was 11. I’ve made literally no close friends since I was in grade school. I spent my entire youth being too scared to function. My mental health started getting better when I was 18/19 and I wanted to start making friends, but then the pandemic hit and sunk me right back to where I started. Since then I’ve done nothing but work. I don’t even know what for. I don’t really have any goals at this point. I live with my parents and they are obviously disappointed in me. To top it off, I’m not even working anymore. My health is deteriorating to the point that I’m too exhausted to function. My doctor thinks I might have thyroid cancer and recovering after the surgery is going to take a while. I’m tired of my time being eaten up by illness. I just want to party and have fun and travel and have experiences. I’ve missed so much and it shows when I try to talk to people. I was so looking forward to making up for lost time after high school and now i feel like all of my opportunities are closing. I’m going to be 23 in a few months and i feel like I’m 10.
12 comments
To be fair. Most of us that are here are also severely socially stunted. That’s why we live on Reddit. So it’s alll good. I never had friends either.
I (41m) am sorry you’re going through that and I’m no stranger to health struggles and anxiety. Hang in there. If you can, find someone to share your time with who doesn’t treat you like a dirtbag. Take care of yourself as much as possible. Listen to your doctors. And mostly just breathe, and when you lose focus on that, try to bring it back to breathing again. Repeat until calm. It takes practice.
get exercise, video games, anime
Hey, I know everyone’s life experience is different, but I want you to know it’s not too late to become the person you want to be.
“Too scared to function” pretty much describes the first 30 years of my life. I’m really just now starting to be able to seek out these normal life experiences and it’s awesome and a little scary. I had to work my way up to these skills and had a few things happen that forced me wayyy out of my comfort zone.
I’m still working on developing better connections to people, but at this point I can travel alone and go to concerts and stuff and I’m ok. I’ve had some pretty stressful experiences while I was learning and growing. The extreme anxiety doesn’t happen nearly as often as it used to.
I just want to encourage you to not give up. Small amounts of growth still count. Everyone grows at their own rate. Think of yourself as a slow growing perennial plant instead of a quick growing annual. A tomato plant can complete its entire life cycle in a year, while a willow tree is still a sapling after a year. They are both functioning perfectly. One just takes longer to reach its final form. Willow trees end up far more stable than tomato plants because they have to develop deep roots to support themselves.
Just remember, you are at the beginning, not the end. It’s ok that it takes time. Keep growing.
I’d say above everything exercise is gonna be the most important.
Next would be start eating less highly processed foods.
Starting from there is gonna be a huge difference cause your mental health will be SO much better.
These two are extremely important.
The only thing that helped me was going to the gym more honestly, I have like social anxiety and I’m super awkward for no reason but tbh most ppl dgaf about you. They’re all too focused on themselves. Also since I’m so shy ppl think I’m being rude by not speaking but I literally just don’t have anything to say lmfaoo
I also had cancer at 15, and my high school experience went to shit, didn’t have a lot of friends, low self esteem and confidence. But I’m 20 now and trying my best to look good and put effort into my appearance since you’ll feel more confident once u start doing that.
Ur only 23 that’s super young you still have time
If you want to message me, we can talk more. We have a really similar story
It’s never too late to get experiences! Find a way to travel somewhere, take part in a new activity or create a goal of some sort for yourself! There are probably more opportunities available to you than you know what to do with!
It’s true, everything people have already commented, it sounds like it’s a cop out but it isn’t.
At least you have identified these are issues, a lot of people think the world is just too much for them and that’s it.
One step at a time:
– go to bed at a natural time, wake up 8 hours later, go to the gym, eat right
– start small, volunteer somewhere where you interact with people
– get a job you care about, or at least gets you outside (touch grass, it’s good for you)
– slowly work your way up and do more challenging things
Anxiety and depression is a bitch. Seriously painful. But if you don’t push through it, it feeds on itself and gets worse. Anxiety begets anxiety. Depression begets depression. Pick yourself up and go do shit. Make a list of shit you want to do and start with the easiest things.
Not to minimize what you’re going through because I get it but there’s only one way out- and it’s all up to you and if you can break the cycle.
Start applying to jobs, then try to make friends with your co workers and focus on exercising 3 to 4 days a week. Eat healthy most of the time. Also, with this economy it’s normal for people your age to live with their parents, but you gotta at least pay rent because you’re an adult and should contribute some way. Have any questions feel free to ask.
Hey I’m the male version of you lol. I have Social anxiety and multiple illnesses that effect the quality of my life yeah it’s not fun but I’ve been getting better though I’m learning self acceptance.
Ambition saved me from ruin, and it’s the only way I see my future now. To become more ambitious than I thought before. IMO the mind can be as big as the universe. Ambition leads me to wisdom that is mind building, perceptive building. Ambition literally fills my heart, soul, and mind with happiness, and it’s so enriching and fulfilling its insane and crazy how abstract life can feel, yet ambition feels so resolute, purposeful
Simple solution: surround yourself with people who are better than you. You are the average of the people you spend the most time with