When is lying the right thing to do?

40 comments

1. When it protects a person’s life or safety.

2. When you’ve picked “truth” because you knew the dare would be outrageous.

3. When it’s used to protect an innocent person’s life or reputation.

4. When it helps more than it could hurt.

5. When somebody’s asking you an outrageous question that they absolutely should not be asking.

6. When they’re clearly very happy and very confident about something unimportant (haircut, clothes, makeup) that objectively looks garbage on them, and ask you what you think. I’m normally all for being sincere when someone asks for your opinion, but that’s not the time for that.

7. When you’re planning a surprise

8. When it’s for safety.

9. I saw a video post of this woman who was at the Hospital with her terminally ill child.

   He had just gotten out of recovering from surgery which hadn’t been successful but she told him it was. He rang the bell to signify he would be leaving (he thought it was because he was now no longer terminal and in the healing stages) he was not but the mother lied in order for him not to spend his last days in a mindset of doom, hurt and all out despair. He instead was overjoyed with the knowledge that he’d be returning home to better days ahead of him.

   She did the right thing. Giving him hope instead of the alternative was the best she could have given him.

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11. When it’s a white lie

12. Never, even if it hurts the person it’s best to hurt them with the truth than the betrayal of hiding and lying in the name of “protection/stability”. Unless it’s for gifting or preparing a surprise, in this case it’s harmless lies in the end, not in the moment because it will put the person in doubt and anxious.

13. When it can save a life

14. When a toddler asks for the 5th candy and you say they can’t have anymore because the candy is over.

15. When you’re planning a surprise for someone.

16. When someone asks me if I have kids and I don’t feel like explaining at that moment that I have 1, but he’s no longer here.

17. To not out someone (or you) who’s gay, trans and/or non-binary to someone with the power to hurt them.

18. When someone asks you what you got them for their birthday.

19. Life is in danger

20. When the truth doesn’t do anything good.

21. There are always situations where lying can be the more appropriate choice even though I have a strong bias towards truth telling:

    * When you or someone innocent are being threatened and it is necessary for your safety/the safety of another person.

    * When a person is dying and needs to hear assurance that everything will be ok to help ease their transition.

    * To protect the health, safety, and well-being of a person who would be targeted by bigotry, oppression, and hate if their identity was known.

    * When someone asks if I saw someone steal food. I never see anyone steal food. It they are hungry and need to eat, I’m going to have selective eyesight.

    * When answering honestly would cause significant, long lasting, and unnecessary harm to a person while offering no value.

22. When you know the truth will get you physically harmed

23. When your friend is wearing an outfit that you don’t like, but she is clearly feeling herself and asks if you like it. Absolutely fine then to white lie and tell her you love it and she looks amazing.

24. When the kids are asking a billion questions about the same thing. Not because they don’t understand. But because they have to fill the quiet in the air with noise. Lmao

    I immediately go- “Hmm, I don’t know. What do you think?” When the question is turned back on them, most times they answer the question and go silent for 5 minutes. Most times they answer the question and then ask again.

    I just immediately went to this because I was just accosted at carpool by two kids who decided this morning was the morning to ask me a billion questions in the span of 10 minutes. It’s brutal.

    Otherwise, I think it’s OK to lie when people are being unreasonably nosy about things you have the right to share when you are ready. I don’t mean in the sense of making up tall tales, but a simple deflecting lie. For example, “oh have you gotten your test results back yet?” especially when you have already stated that you will properly communicate when you feel up to it. You can get the results back, but not be ready to share. Here comes Overbearing Olivia, asking about it- and you respond with like a, “I haven’t heard anything yet.” So they can leave you alone for a bit.

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26. To escape a predator

27. A surprise birthday party

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29. When truth isn’t bearable or maybe not needed.

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31. When the truth is more damaging than the lie.

32. NEVER lie. Just don’t put yourself in a position where you have to lie. Today it’s one lie and tomorrow it’s your entire character that’s a big lie. I refrain from it completely. Have been in tough situations many times but never lied to get my way out. It helps me in keeping my conscious clear irrespective of the outcome

33. When it comes to a person’s safety or reputation.

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35. When a child wants more ice cream, but the ice cream suddenly got too spicy.

36. When strangers or anyone in general is asking way too personal questions.

37. When mom had dementia, I would lie to her to make her happy. Reminding her, over and over again, of the truth of her condition seemed too cruel.

38. When a young child asks you why you aren’t with their father.

39. In a matter of civil disobedience, such as a woman in Texas making difficult prenatal decisions that are none of the government’s damned business.

40. When dealing with a loved one living with dementia.
    “Where’s my mother?” from your 95-year-old parent.
    “She just went to the store…she wants me to take care of you while she’s out.”
    Over and over and over…