I’ve worked here for a while. It’s a very social office, everyone is friends and talk and joke around all the time. I started working here because my friend already did and he recommended me the job.
I’m relatively quiet, and usually try to focus mostly on my work. I always engage when someone talks to me, and I’ve tried a few times to join in conversations. I feel like I’m always falling flat, none of them seem to really have any desire to engage with me.
My other friend also started working here about a month ago, and he’s already making friends with everyone. They talk to him and engage with him a lot more than they do with me. He’s also relatively quiet and keeps to himself and his work until they engage with him…. But they also actually talk to him. They’ve pretty much included him into the group but I’ve been left in the dust. I’m kind of jealous. I started this job that was out of my comfort zone purely for the chance to socialize, and they don’t even like me lol.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong 🙁
2 comments
Did you introduce yourself to people when you started? Asked everybody’s name? Do you even say “hello good morning”? Or “What’s up guys”? fist bump people? Smile at them? “Take care, see you tomorrow”?
When your buddy is talking to people you should go and “hey man” and to the other person “hey what up, what was your name again”? And become part of that chat. They didn’t invite you to talk but you go anyway, people do that all the time, it’s “normal.”
Observe what other people do, how are they starting a convo, when are people joining, how are people joining, what do they say when they join, see how they are taking turns to talk, their gestures… etc.
If you don’t engage then people won’t even look at you. I’m a very aloof type of dude myself but I know I need to engage in order for others to later engage. I try to fit in.
Being quiet is a good weapon. Even in dating, women will find you attractive because you’re reserved and are not a clown like the others.
As a quiet dude your body language will be your ally. I’m not gonna write a bible here about body language, google it.
One quick tip, save up some cash and take some acting classes because you’ll be doing a lot of acting in order to fit in. This doesn’t mean that your going to become a clown for them tho.
Saying their name helps out too. Also keep an open body language and make sure to smile!