I (f/24) met a guy (25) on bumble last month, first date we went to the gym, afterwards got something to eat and drove around for 5ish hours and made out by the end. The next day we went to the gym again and the day after we did almost the same as we did on our first date. I had so much fun with him and was happy to have met him. He was really encouraging and funny, shame on me starting to like him 😮
We texted the week after every day and he invited me to spend the weekend with him in his hometown (which is in hindsight a Little bit weird, meeting his parents and spending the night with a stranger). I met two of his friends, had great conversations with him and we build lego roses which was a gift for me. The weekend was overall very nice^^
He has some traumas about sex/intimacy/size because of previous girlfriends, so we didn‘t have sex, just fooled around and I enjoyed the time with him.
((He works for the police and is stationed here where I live for a year, his hometown is a 4h drive away which is not the best and didn‘t like.))
Sunday evening when we came back we went to the gym for like an hour and the week after I noticed that he doesn‘t text as much as before and it was more like he is answering my questions (but not even all) and not holding a conversation. (You know he was just „busy“ lol)
At this point deep down I already knew that he has no interest anymore. Even though he assured me that he isn‘t texting anyone else and stuff like that. Two days before he ghosted me we met and talked and everything was perfect. He said he wouldn‘t ghost anyone that‘s immature, he would be sad if I found someone else, honesty and communication is so f important to him (he let me know numerous times that that is really important to him over the few weeks I‘ve known him). And nothing was true. That I could go home with him over easter or when he is stationed in a different city the next couple of weeks I could spend the weekend with him there…Just empty promises :((
Maybe everything seemed to good to be true and I should have acted differently but by the end of the day I just got lied to and that sucks:/
I deleted everything from number to chat to follower and now apparently have to act as if it doesn‘t bother me 🙁
I‘m sorry for the long wall of text, I just wanted to write it of my chest, so thank you when you are still reading this^^
1 comment
Honestly… I think the sexual aspect is a bigger issue for him than you’re letting on. I know a guy similar to who you described – built like a fitness model, has competed in lifting competitions, & resembles Ryan Reynolds. He could quite literally pick any girl he wanted. But despite that, he’s never been in a long-term relationship, or really even hooked up. He’s had multiple girls walk out on him almost immediately after they had sex. And I mean, like, the next day.
It’s extremely traumatizing and it’s every man’s worst fear to be told they’re not enough downstairs. He probably ghosted as a defense mechanism because he doesn’t want to go through that again.