I really dont understand whats goign on and i hope somebody may see a pattern cause i dont know whats going on.
So today is my big brothers 34th birthday. I told my mom a week before his birthday that i probably have to work and i wont be able to take off because it was super important. My mom was shocked when she heard I wont be able to take the day off and claimed I didnt WANT to take off because other people were more important than my brother to me. I literally didnt know what to say about this absolutely false information and told her i will try to make it work but i cant guarantee it, since its super important and i cant leave my collegues alone.
So yesterday i drove home to surprise my brother with gifts, flowers, and donuts since he didnt want cake. My mom called me on my way home and asked me what i got him for his birthday. I told her, tthat i got him MontBlanc cufflinks which were definetely too expensive for me as a student but i found a good deal on ebay and they are brand new. She asked me why the hell i bought something expensive like that and that this was a total waste of money. In that moment I recalled that in the last few years everyone always got my brother expensive stuff for his birthday. I also remember that last year on his birthday I was so broke that I couldnt afford buying him anything which lead to my mother saying I wouldnt love or care about my brother.
I didnt react to much to her comment and also told her that I got him flowers. She was pretty happy but didnt know what to get him and didnt want to give him just money cause there is no personal touch to it. Anyway, i came to my parents house and i told her that i had to work tomorrow cause i couldnt take off that day. my mom says that im only doing all these things so i can go tomorrow and dont have to spend the day with him. i responded to her that IF i really didnt wanna spend the day with him, I WOULDNT DRIVE 2 HOURS WITH FLOWERS, GIFTS, DONUTS AND 300 € LESS IN MY POCKET. so today, the whole day she was whining that her poor son has had such a bad birthday and nobody cared for him. but she didnt organize anything, not even a little breakfast or dinner.
So started to try to organize somtehing nice for tonight, so the whole family could celebrate and she would just shut her mouth. I booked 5 seats at a restaurant for the whole family with a fancy dance show and went to her and told her about it. she answered with “oh yeah youre just trying to make everythign work for yourself, since you only have time tonight huh ? ”
i didnt know what to say. i just came to my parents place from work with a huge headache and i have no clue what my crazy mom wants from me. Does she have a bad conscious about my brother that she didnt do anythign for him and now is trying to make me look bad ?
im clueless, pls help me out here.
2 comments
Next time try celebrating with just your brother, what does he think about it? Some people like to give others a hard time cause it makes them feel better about their own issues
your mother is a terrible person if what you’re saying is true. A true karen. She doesn’t care about you or your brother, not from her heart. My advice would be to not give in to anything she says and just ignore her. At this point I’d just say “I’m an adult, I’ll make my own decisions, if you have nothing nice to say then I don’t want to hear it and I definitely don’t want to hear your opinions about my decisions”.
You’ve probably faced this behavior from her your whole life and do not realize how unbelievably toxic she sounds. It’s hard to believe that mothers like this exist.