a little while ago i started having sex with my new gf, she has not had any partners in 3 years and does 0 penetration in terms of masturbation. she keeps telling me it feels like a deep stabbing pain when i go all the way in. i have abt 7” maybe more and she is about 5’2, is it possible for her to get used to me??? i try my best to be gentle and make my strokes good for her. she is poor at communicating during the act so i don’t really know what’s good and bad until after. is there positions, tips or tutorials that anybody can recommend me? i’m really stuck and i think it’s causing her stress. i’ve never had this problem before and usually get very good feedback from previous partners
4 comments
First of all, are you sure she’s adequately warmed up before you have sex? Not enough lubrication could cause pain. I would start by fingering her or using a smaller toy before penetrating her. Have her help you understand which angles and positions she likes.
I think [OhNut](https://ohnut.co) would be worth looking into. It lets you adjust penetration depth during sex. She should also see her doctor to rule out any potential health issues.
pain isn’t just about size or position. This happened with me and long story short, I was diagnosed with PCOS – which makes sex painful sometimes.
I commend you for getting opinions and educating yourself. Ultimately the best thing is going to be to communication
You need to warm up the oven a lot, if she’s having depth pain (cervix contact).
**Anatomy/arousal**
*Some women have shorter vaginas*. Remember though, that the vagina gets an erection too, internally it lengthens. This *happens with arousal/pleasure*. The cervix will pull up and out of the way, during vaginal tenting. You should try (each time) to service her, **orally**, till she cums at least once. You can blend this with your fingers, too, read up on this. That should help. Think: same amount of time w foreplay just for her, as the amount of time your penis is in her vagina.
**Positions**
There are some positions that suit this combination of anatomy (long penis/short vagina), and some that don’t. Her on top, **cowgirl**. This is good for her controlling the depth, she can lean forward to less depth, but still rub her clit on your pelvis, which is where its at, in terms of most women’s orgasms. You’ll want to take it easy in **doggie**, this position shortens the vagina and also places the cervix in the way more (usually). Instead of full doggie, she can not arch her back as much, leaving her butt to blunt some of the depth, and lessening the depth. Alternative: **prone bone** (she laying on her stomach, you doing doggie like that). This can limit depth. Missionary is very nice, you may still hurt her, though. She needs to communicate, but also, you should not use her legs on your shoulders or behind her head. You’ll want to limit your depth, you can go in from a higher angle (your penis pointing straight down towards the bed). This can help with depth, as maybe you’ll be able to go under her cervix into **posterior fornix**. This is my fav, its unique. There’s also super intimate spooning, that will limit depth, and you can use your hand to enhance things.
**Discipline**
Also, you need to limit yourself, and be disciplined, go slow, control your stroke. Some cervix contact is ok, but it can’t be the whole time and def not in the beginning of your session.
Good luck, if it sucks for her, you’re gonna lose a customer, so **the customer’s always right**, sir!