I met found this cool woman on Bumble and I worked up the courage to ask her out on a date. I kinda find myself feeling a little unsure and even a little insecure. I’m 19 and she’s 24 so dating isn’t entirely new to her whereas I’ve never been out on a date. I set up the date for Saturday night. I told her we could go get something to eat and maybe watch a movie afterwards (kinda corny, I know). I don’t feel uncomfortable talking to women but this is something entirely new to me. I feel like I’m over thinking little things like where I should take her, what we should talk about, and whether or not it’s appropriate to kiss after the date.
I’m sorry if this all sounds kinda stupid, trust me that’s how I feel typing this and reading it aloud. I’m a decent looking dude, I have a job, a car, and I can hold a conversation. I just don’t want to be seen as lame or whatever. Is there any advice you could give me? I guess I just need someone to tell me I’m overthinking things.
2 comments
You’re overthinking and its understandable considering you never been on a date. First time is always nerve-racking. As corny as it sounds just be yourself. Unless you acted completely different when talking to her on the app, that’s the reason she agreed to go on date.
How much you know about this girl? Not much right? You should have things you want to know about her. Don’t make it an interview where you are only asking questions. Go with the flow of the conversation. At the end of the day you can only control what you can control. Go in with a open mind.
You’re overthinking things. You met her on Bumble, so she was obviously interested from the start since she had to initiate things, and she agreed to go on a date with you, so you couldn’t be in a better position!
In terms of your date, getting something to eat with her sounds like a good idea for a first date; chatting over dinner lets you get to know more about each other and see whether you click while interacting in person.
If you two are compatible, the conversation should flow rather naturally; my only advice there would be to make sure to ask questions about her and actively listen, showing genuine interest and asking follow-up questions when appropriate. But also make sure to let her get to know you on a deeper level too – don’t hesitate to talk about your interests, passions, goals, etc.
You mentioned watching a movie afterwards, which to be honest might not be the best idea for a first date. If you meant actually going to a movie theater, you won’t be able to really interact with her in a meaningful way. If you meant watching a movie at her place or yours, there’s a good chance that she’d think you had ulterior motives, even though it seems clear from your post that you don’t.
As for whether or not to kiss, that’s a judgment call on your part. If you felt a strong chemistry and sensed that she felt the same, then when the moment feels right, go for it (either ask first or lean in slowly to give her a chance to back away – you want to show her that you understand how important her comfort and consent are).
I hope that helps and that you have a great date!